1
00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:05,250
We need to call it, right?

2
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:08,583
I think so too.

3
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,500
- Hey. Hey, hey.
- What?

4
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,250
Hey.

5
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:31,082
They're sleeping.

6
00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:33,082
I know.
Do you think that...

7
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,624
Should I pack a bag
and check into a hotel?

8
00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:35,916
No, no. That's dramatic. What?

9
00:02:35,917 --> 00:02:37,832
No, I know, just with the...

10
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:38,999
- Or I could...
- What?

11
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,666
I could make up a bed
down on the couch too,

12
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:42,582
- if that's gonna be...
- No, no, no.

13
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:43,666
- Really?
- That's not necessary.

14
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:44,874
Let's just...

15
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,499
- Okay, what...
- Oh...

16
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,416
- Hey, buddy,
- TESS: Hey. Hey, buddy.

17
00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:50,708
- What are you doing up?
- Are you guys fighting?

18
00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:52,500
- No.
- No. No, no, no.

19
00:02:53,292 --> 00:02:55,124
No, actually, we're not...
we're not fighting at all.

20
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:56,708
We never fight.

21
00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:58,166
That's true.

22
00:02:58,167 --> 00:02:59,917
Go back to bed, baby, okay?

23
00:03:00,542 --> 00:03:03,208
Come here, Charlie.
Come on. Outside.

24
00:03:07,292 --> 00:03:09,583
Come on, Charlie. Charlie, come.

25
00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:11,332
Come on, Charlie, let's go.

26
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,583
- Our last hurrah.
- What?

27
00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:33,598
- You know, just with the...
- Yeah, yeah.

28
00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:35,999
The other day,
we were watching this, like,

29
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,416
just one of those
doomsday docs, right?

30
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,624
You know, meteors,
the Earth, wars,

31
00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:39,666
- everything, all that stuff.
- Uh-huh.

32
00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:40,749
And so, you know, he had

33
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:42,082
the weirdest look on his face.

34
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,457
And at the end of the doc,
I looked at him,

35
00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:44,832
and I said, you know,

36
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,499
"How do you feel about that?
Does that bother you? Does it..."

37
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,332
You know,
fully expecting him to be like,

38
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,166
"Hey, what...
What do we do about this?"

39
00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:52,374
Nothing.

40
00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:54,749
He's perfectly fine
with the world coming to an end.

41
00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:56,374
He literally said,

42
00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,332
"Well, you know, I've had
a good life up until now.

43
00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,791
What's there to be sad about?"

44
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:02,874
Jalen, my 17-year-old boy.

45
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,124
First of all,
he's brilliant, right?

46
00:04:04,125 --> 00:04:06,541
He excels at everything
he puts his mind to.

47
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,832
But I just thought,
"What kind of mindset is that?"

48
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:12,457
My body does not say it,
but I still feel...

49
00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:15,332
like I'm 24 years old, at best.

50
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,082
Thank you, babe.
Shut up, Stephen.

51
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:18,249
But, you know,
seriously, though.

52
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,874
I'm not ready
for shit to end, right?

53
00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:21,583
- Are you? No?
- No.

54
00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:24,624
Well, because he lives
in a world with the likelihood

55
00:04:24,625 --> 00:04:26,416
that we may blow ourselves up
at any moment.

56
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:27,332
What?

57
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,249
But that's nothing new.

58
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,582
We all grew up
during the Cold War.

59
00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:30,541
Guys, it isn't that.

60
00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:31,666
Yeah, but remember,
we were scared.

61
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:33,166
It's not that. He's alive.

62
00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:35,207
You know? He just goes.

63
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:38,582
He goes for it every day.
He crushes it every day.

64
00:04:38,583 --> 00:04:39,541
- That's true.
- Mm. Yeah.

65
00:04:39,542 --> 00:04:41,541
And he's in joy because of it.

66
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:42,832
How 'bout joy?

67
00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,957
I mean, it's beautiful.

68
00:04:44,958 --> 00:04:47,666
Not giving a fuck about trying
to be like other people

69
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:49,375
or trying to be a grown-up.

70
00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:51,624
Uh! Fuck!

71
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,832
Wait, are you talking about me?

72
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,416
No, somebody alive!

73
00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:55,666
- Shit.
- Jesus.

74
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,249
- I was joking!
- Also dead.

75
00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:00,958
Just joking.

76
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,292
You are so alive, darling.

77
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:04,874
- Hey, I found it!
- "Darling"?

78
00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:05,999
Yes.

79
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,874
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God!

80
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,582
- Oh, my gosh.
- Are you all right?

81
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:10,499
You all right?

82
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,582
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

83
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:15,249
- Oh, the rug. I'm sorry...
- Fuck. What the absolute fuck?

84
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:16,582
- Balls!
- I'm sorry!

85
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,249
I'll go. No, no, no, it's okay.

86
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,249
- No, no! There's milk in it!
- I'll get more. I'll get more.

87
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,916
- Balls. No.
- It's right around the corner.

88
00:05:21,917 --> 00:05:23,124
- She doesn't need it.
- Stay, it's fine.

89
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:24,374
- It's like every week.
- I'm sorry. Sorry.

90
00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:25,291
God.

91
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,916
Don't cry
over spilled oat milk, okay?

92
00:05:26,917 --> 00:05:28,499
Yeah, this is fine for you.

93
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,166
- Jesus.
- Oh, my God.

94
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:32,332
- It's literally everyday.
- Balls, it's perfect.

95
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,874
- Thank you.
- You all right?

96
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:37,291
Uh, yeah. I'm a little... I'm
just, like, a little nervous.

97
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:38,833
- Yeah, you seem it.
- 'Cause, uh...

98
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,458
one of the guys is, uh...

99
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:44,416
not gonna be there
next Saturday matinee,

100
00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:46,083
so if you wanna come...

101
00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,249
Oh, wow. Shit.
Do you know all his lines?

102
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,375
His lines? Yeah,
I know all the disciples' lines.

103
00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:53,499
- Of Christ?
- Yeah.

104
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,666
I'm just so grateful
I can grow such a hefty beard.

105
00:05:55,667 --> 00:05:57,249
You know what I mean?
Do I look like a disciple?

106
00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,749
- Babe, what? What?
- Am I doing it wrong? I'm sorry.

107
00:05:58,750 --> 00:05:59,874
No? I'm sorry.

108
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:01,832
- Oh, my God.
- This always happens.

109
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,624
Half of me is always
living in the play.

110
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:04,707
- Jesus.
- Yeah.

111
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,082
It's the burden
of my beautiful wife.

112
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:07,416
Oh, God.

113
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,792
You got it, St. Paul.

114
00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:12,499
Mm. Living with an artist, guys.
Living with an artist.

115
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,041
By the way, Oyster Bay?

116
00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:15,291
- Yeah?
- We call the primary.

117
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,416
Wait, you can't call it
this far out.

118
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,374
Yes, we just did actually.

119
00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:18,291
Why not?
Let them.

120
00:06:18,292 --> 00:06:19,416
What do you mean?
It's not forever.

121
00:06:19,417 --> 00:06:21,624
Let them. Babe,
they're literally newlyweds.

122
00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:23,666
Plus, y'all two always take
the love shack attic anyway.

123
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:24,999
It's actually perfect.
I love it.

124
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,499
- Hey, you wanna know why?
- Yeah.

125
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,250
Because we made Jalen there.

126
00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:29,749
We're not making
any more babies.

127
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,666
- Yeah.
- No.

128
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:32,041
Well, you never know...
Oh no, that's true.

129
00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:33,582
You didn't even make
your first two that way, right?

130
00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:34,541
Okay, wow.

131
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,707
- Dude.
- That's enough.

132
00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:37,332
- No, please. Babe, stop, stop.
- All right. It's okay.

133
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:38,916
- No, but you have to have sex.
- Please stop talking.

134
00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:39,874
Okay. Sorry, sorry.

135
00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:41,374
We have sex, we just didn't...

136
00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:42,291
You know what, you guys,

137
00:06:42,292 --> 00:06:43,374
maybe we should just
kinda wrap this thing up?

138
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:44,416
Wait, you did have sex
to make...?

139
00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:45,666
Yeah, yeah.
You know what? We gotta...

140
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,332
That's too much gardening
for you, please.

141
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:50,249
I thought that they put it... No,
I thought you created a zygote.

142
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:51,999
- I'm so tired.
- Christine.

143
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,791
- What?
- You baking your cookies?

144
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:55,999
Oh, um...

145
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,874
Why? Why?
Does it smell like cookies?

146
00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:58,832
Mm-hmm.

147
00:06:58,833 --> 00:06:59,874
Really?

148
00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:00,957
No, I just... I think my kitchen

149
00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:03,124
just always smells like that.
You know?

150
00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:05,625
And you know what? Also, I was
heating the food in the oven.

151
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:07,417
Do you want dessert?

152
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:10,250
- We called an Uber.
- We have fortune cookies.

153
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:11,957
Do you remember Macaulay Culkin?

154
00:07:11,958 --> 00:07:14,249
When they came back,
he was changed forever.

155
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,250
- And I believed it.
- Babe. Let's walk them out.

156
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,374
You asked her
about it specifically?

157
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:19,625
Yeah. She lied.

158
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,917
Oh...

159
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:23,917
She was hiding 'em
till after we'd all gone.

160
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,499
When they get even
higher as fuck. Right?

161
00:07:30,625 --> 00:07:32,750
And Christine,
when she's not high?

162
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,083
- So grumpy.
- Ugh.

163
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,042
Good thing we didn't tell 'em.

164
00:07:41,833 --> 00:07:43,500
Would've been too much
for them to take.

165
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,500
Maybe I laid it on
a little too thick.

166
00:08:01,833 --> 00:08:02,833
Too thick?

167
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,250
What?

168
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,582
Why, 'cause one time
you called me darling?

169
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:09,667
That's like...

170
00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:12,707
I mean, if that's your idea

171
00:08:12,708 --> 00:08:15,041
of laying it on too thick,
I mean, that's...

172
00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:16,375
Okay, okay!

173
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000
You took one?

174
00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:29,458
Fuck yeah.

175
00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:34,708
When I went to the bathroom,
I was stealing it.

176
00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:38,518
It's gonna make you
really fucking high.

177
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:41,333
That's the idea.

178
00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:47,083
Mm.

179
00:09:00,542 --> 00:09:01,792
Fuck it.

180
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,917
You ate more than I did.

181
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,207
Oh shit, that was
probably really stupid.

182
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:23,500
I love it.

183
00:09:24,292 --> 00:09:25,750
Oh, my God.

184
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,124
Wait. What are you doing?

185
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:38,333
Oh, my God. What am I doing?

186
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,833
Sorry. Shit.

187
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,291
Oh!

188
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,292
Shit.

189
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,292
Hey. Hey!

190
00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:49,917
You okay?

191
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:52,249
Are you gonna be okay?

192
00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:55,958
- I think so.
- Yeah?

193
00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:58,291
You're okay?

194
00:09:58,292 --> 00:10:00,333
Yeah. The cookie
hasn't hit me yet.

195
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:03,832
I'm gonna be okay.

196
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:04,917
I'll be okay.

197
00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:20,916
Holy shit.

198
00:11:10,292 --> 00:11:11,292
What's up?

199
00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,666
I just wanna come in
and get a drink.

200
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:14,875
Yeah, 15 buck cover.

201
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,125
- To get a drink?
- It's comedy.

202
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:21,750
Is it funny?

203
00:11:23,292 --> 00:11:24,542
It's 15 bucks, man.

204
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:26,374
Yeah, you already said that.

205
00:11:26,375 --> 00:11:28,416
Look, man, I don't have
any money on me.

206
00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:30,125
Yeah, I don't know
what to tell you.

207
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,166
- Hey.
- Yo.

208
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:33,417
- Good luck.
- Thank you.

209
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:36,124
How come she didn't
have to pay 15 bucks?

210
00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:37,375
She put her name down.

211
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,708
<i>Well, you're welcome.</i>

212
00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:46,083
All right. Alex Novak,
downstairs in two minutes.

213
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:48,833
That's me.

214
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:50,978
Well, you better
head down there, then.

215
00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:53,207
- Where?
- Just straight behind you.

216
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,416
Down the stairs.

217
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:03,541
Hey, hey. Hey.

218
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,982
Why don't you leave that right
over there with the other ones?

219
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,167
- Right here?
- Yeah. They'll watch it.

220
00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:13,042
Okay.

221
00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:21,957
Oh, my God.
It's completely different.

222
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,957
Like, you cannot have
casual sex with a woman.

223
00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:25,207
Okay? You can't do it.

224
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:28,791
You have to buy her dinner,
um, at least.

225
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:30,541
With men, I am the dinner.

226
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:35,166
It's easy. It's easy.
It's simple. It's simple.

227
00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:36,832
- Sorry.
- What up, man?

228
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,458
- They called me.
- Yeah.

229
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,463
When you see the light,
just get off, all right?

230
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:44,874
There you go.
Just talk to 'em, have fun.

231
00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:46,582
Orgasm from
a man who embarrasses you.

232
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:49,374
No, I'm leaving.
I'm leaving. I'm going.

233
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,416
Okay.

234
00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:56,041
That's Rolo, everybody!
That was really funny.

235
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:59,041
Alrighty, I got a lot
of familiar names on here,

236
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:00,791
but I'm gonna shake it up a bit.

237
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:04,582
Uh, let's put your hands
together for Alec Novak?

238
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:05,832
Alec Novak.

239
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,750
Alec Novak, everybody.

240
00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:12,542
Alec!

241
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,792
Um...

242
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,250
I don't have a ton of jokes.

243
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:38,832
And, uh...

244
00:13:38,833 --> 00:13:42,500
Actually my name is
Alex Novak, uh, for that lady.

245
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,375
It's okay.

246
00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:48,958
My parents won't be mad.

247
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:53,375
Um...

248
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,417
What do I tell ya?

249
00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,125
Um...

250
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,208
I think I'm getting a divorce.

251
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:07,292
Yeah.

252
00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:12,124
What tipped me off was that, uh,

253
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,874
I'm living, um,
in an apartment on my own.

254
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:17,791
Yeah.

255
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:20,416
And my wife and kids
don't live there. So...

256
00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:25,625
That was probably the...
the biggest clue.

257
00:14:28,292 --> 00:14:29,333
Um...

258
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:39,917
I was, uh... Well,
I was married for 20 years.

259
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:42,958
Yeah.

260
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,958
Uh, engaged...
Uh, engaged for two years.

261
00:14:47,042 --> 00:14:48,333
Dated for three.

262
00:14:51,292 --> 00:14:54,792
And... met a year before that.

263
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,667
So, 26 years.

264
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:02,500
Which makes sense...

265
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,957
now, because my wife used to say
being married to me

266
00:15:05,958 --> 00:15:07,624
was like running a marathon.

267
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:13,750
I don't really know
what happened, um...

268
00:15:16,292 --> 00:15:17,416
to my marriage.
Uh...

269
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:22,250
I came home one day, um...
and my...

270
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,333
I guess, still wife, but...

271
00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,333
Uh, Tess was her name.

272
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,458
Her name is still Tess.

273
00:15:35,917 --> 00:15:38,499
I plan on, uh, letting her
keep that in the divorce.

274
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,416
Um...

275
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:47,125
Yeah, I... I came home,
and, um...

276
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:50,917
there was a conversation,
I remember, and somebody said...

277
00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:57,125
It, um...
"Should we end this thing?"

278
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,625
And then there was an agreement.

279
00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:03,292
Um, I'm pretty sure she said...

280
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:07,374
This is what she meant
about not paying attention.

281
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,625
Yeah, she... I came home.

282
00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:15,458
And, uh...

283
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,792
I guess we both agreed
it was over.

284
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:22,624
Which is awesome...
that at least we agreed on that.

285
00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:27,666
It was less awesome
for our two kids.

286
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:30,041
Yeah.

287
00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,417
It's okay. They're ten.

288
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,667
The... They're not...
They're not twins.

289
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:37,875
They're Irish twins.

290
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,250
Which is...

291
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,957
why I pulled an Irish goodbye
when I left.

292
00:16:47,292 --> 00:16:48,583
Oh, come on.

293
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:50,457
I thought you guys told...

294
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,791
I thought this was a comedy...

295
00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:54,000
show.

296
00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,042
Anyway, um...

297
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,875
I think I earned my keep here.
Um...

298
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:06,666
What do I say? My name's Alex.

299
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:12,832
Alex Novak, everybody.

300
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:14,291
Sorry.
Is there a bathroom here?

301
00:17:14,292 --> 00:17:18,416
Wow. All right,
let's hear it for Jill McKenzie.

302
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:21,833
There she is. There she is.

303
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,416
Keep it going for Kemp,
you guys. Kemp rules.

304
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:26,417
What's up?

305
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:29,374
The side part
is the skinny part. Agreed?

306
00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:32,166
Now, the skinny part,
the side part... same part.

307
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,707
Same size, same part.
You know what I'm talking about?

308
00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:36,332
You take it out and...

309
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:38,667
<i>Allez, allez, allez.</i>

310
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,583
<i>Allez, allez, allez.</i>

311
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,833
You have to favor a labia?

312
00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:46,667
<i>We've conquered All of Europe.</i>

313
00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:49,208
<i>We're never gonna stop.</i>

314
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:52,583
<i>Allez, allez, allez.</i>

315
00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:55,833
<i>Allez, allez, allez</i>

316
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:58,041
because she wants me
to feel good.

317
00:17:58,042 --> 00:17:59,957
Like, for instance,
she's like a hot girl.

318
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:01,332
You know what I mean?
Like, she has the vagina

319
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:02,957
that fits the little underwear, okay?

320
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,416
She goes... And she...

321
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,082
What was the advice she gave me?

322
00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:07,166
Oh, she said, "Boundaries?"

323
00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:08,374
You guys know
about these boundaries?

324
00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,957
You guys talk
about these boundaries?

325
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,166
- She goes...
- First time?

326
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:13,207
She goes, um, "You need to learn
how to set boundaries."

327
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:14,499
Yeah.

328
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,957
Stick around.
Support your fellow comics.

329
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:17,707
"I told my boyfriend
he has to text me

330
00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:19,166
every night before bed,

331
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:21,041
'Goodnight, I love you'
or it's over."

332
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,332
And she goes, "Now, he texts me
every night before bed,

333
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,582
'Goodnight, I love you.'
And now everything's great."

334
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,791
And I was like, "Oh, thank...
thank you. Thanks."

335
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:32,541
If I said that to any man I've
ever dated, they would be like,

336
00:18:32,542 --> 00:18:33,999
"Oh, perfect.
I was on the fence anyway.

337
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,280
Get the fuck outta here, bitch."

338
00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:38,707
You know what, I'm not
fucking calling in favors.

339
00:18:38,708 --> 00:18:40,666
With me in a relationship,
it's me going, "No, dude."

340
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,541
I... I gotta date better men.
I have to.

341
00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:45,499
My girlfriends are dating men
who are, like,

342
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,832
running 10Ks
on the weekends for fun.

343
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:50,541
My ex wouldn't let me touch his
<i>Magic: The Gathering</i> cards

344
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,666
'cause he was worried
that I would bend them.

345
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:55,167
They didn't say nothing
about my sister's new ass.

346
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:56,499
Not even a warning.

347
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,957
Just a warning
would have been nice.

348
00:18:57,958 --> 00:18:59,457
Something. Anything.

349
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:01,541
"Hey Reggie, go in the kitchen.

350
00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:03,374
Meg Thee Stallion is in there."

351
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:06,000
Now, I don't feel bad for
looking at my sister's new butt.

352
00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:08,249
On PS5. Kung fu game.

353
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,375
Got it right now?

354
00:20:06,917 --> 00:20:08,332
So, what happens now?

355
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,792
Between, you know, Mom and you?

356
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:12,374
What do you mean?

357
00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:16,124
Well, you know, you guys
told us that you separated?

358
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:17,082
Yeah.

359
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,375
Does that mean you're
going to get divorced?

360
00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:22,249
Well, I...

361
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:23,957
- Remember that dragon?
- What dragon?

362
00:20:23,958 --> 00:20:25,957
At the... at the assembly.

363
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,207
The school assembly.
The big red dragon.

364
00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:30,000
You mean the lion?

365
00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:31,832
Was it a lion?
Looked like a dragon.

366
00:20:31,833 --> 00:20:33,332
It only had two people in it.

367
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,791
Huh.

368
00:20:34,792 --> 00:20:36,666
What does a dragon
have to do with anything?

369
00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:38,374
- It was a lion.
- Whatever it was,

370
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:39,999
- lion or dragon.
- Lion.

371
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,082
It was big and it was brave,

372
00:20:42,083 --> 00:20:44,166
and that's what I need
you guys to be.

373
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:45,791
That's not it at all.

374
00:20:45,792 --> 00:20:47,041
The lion chews up the lettuce,

375
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:49,541
and that brings us wealth
and prosperity for the new year.

376
00:20:49,542 --> 00:20:52,042
Right. That's it.
That's exactly it. Right.

377
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,374
Are you going
to feed the lion, Dad?

378
00:20:54,375 --> 00:20:56,042
Me? I don't know, I...

379
00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:57,707
Are you?

380
00:20:57,708 --> 00:21:00,666
I fed it because I have goals
this year I want to achieve.

381
00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:02,041
Do you have goals, Dad?

382
00:21:02,042 --> 00:21:03,291
No, of course I do. Of course...

383
00:21:03,292 --> 00:21:05,333
- Dad, you should have goals.
- We have goals.

384
00:21:07,625 --> 00:21:08,457
Good night, guys.

385
00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:09,374
- Settle in.
- Dad...

386
00:21:09,375 --> 00:21:10,291
Settle in. All right.

387
00:21:10,292 --> 00:21:12,041
- Love you.
- Love you, too.

388
00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:13,916
Get down there. Get down there.

389
00:21:13,917 --> 00:21:16,042
All right, you guys.
Good night, guys.

390
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,083
- No talking, all right, guys?
- Okay.

391
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:29,457
I haven't told your father.

392
00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:30,541
What?

393
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:32,041
<i>Entre nous.</i>

394
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:34,499
No, Mom, there is no <i>entre nous.</i>
We don't have any secrets.

395
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,207
The boys know everything.
You don't have to whisper.

396
00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:37,582
Well, you don't have
to embarrass me.

397
00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:38,707
I just told you
your father doesn't know.

398
00:21:38,708 --> 00:21:40,416
- Okay...
- What doesn't Grandpa know?

399
00:21:40,417 --> 00:21:42,207
That Mom and I are splitting up.

400
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:43,541
Oh.

401
00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:44,707
Think you should tell him, Dada.

402
00:21:44,708 --> 00:21:46,207
- Great.
- Yes, son, that's up to you.

403
00:21:46,208 --> 00:21:47,291
It's got nothing to do with me.

404
00:21:47,292 --> 00:21:48,582
Yeah, well tell that
to our marriage.

405
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:49,999
Look how you're going on.

406
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,374
And stop being jealous
of my friendship with Tess.

407
00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:55,832
I adore her. I love her so much.

408
00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,457
- Dad! Dad?
- Yeah. I know it. What?

409
00:21:57,458 --> 00:21:58,749
- And you know something?
- Dad!

410
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:01,041
Look, you two have always
been very different.

411
00:22:01,042 --> 00:22:01,999
Yeah, and you and Dad are twins?

412
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:02,999
Dad? Dad?

413
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,832
Your father is an immigrant
to this country.

414
00:22:04,833 --> 00:22:06,791
- I know that.
- And I've always been a woman

415
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,124
who wants the taste
of the exotic.

416
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:09,832
- And that's what makes it work.
- Mom! Jesus, Mom.

417
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:10,957
I'm just saying this
in front of the children...

418
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:11,874
Can I have another apple juice?

419
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,666
- I already said no.
- Because there's no secrets,

420
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:16,707
- so... Just pick a lane, okay?
- I know.

421
00:22:16,708 --> 00:22:18,625
- Why not?
- For crying out loud.

422
00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:20,416
Felix, it's your turn.

423
00:22:20,417 --> 00:22:22,041
Mom, do you have any...

424
00:22:22,042 --> 00:22:23,666
Do you have any more
of those juice boxes?

425
00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:25,541
Your father drank them all.

426
00:22:25,542 --> 00:22:27,541
It's got little pretzels on it.

427
00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:29,582
They're all individual pretzels?

428
00:22:29,583 --> 00:22:31,124
They all started individual,

429
00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:33,624
and then I, uh, glued
most of them together.

430
00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:34,666
Oh, oh.

431
00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:35,624
There's one or two separate.

432
00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:37,957
And you have the mustard
and the ketchup there, too.

433
00:22:37,958 --> 00:22:38,999
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

434
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,582
But the guy's got the day off.

435
00:22:40,583 --> 00:22:41,541
You know?

436
00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,374
He's got the day off
like the rest of the town.

437
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:45,208
Everybody's taking today off.

438
00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:48,292
She thinks I don't know,
but I know.

439
00:22:48,958 --> 00:22:50,416
Here, put that there.

440
00:22:50,417 --> 00:22:51,417
And, uh...

441
00:22:52,917 --> 00:22:54,292
For me, it's no big deal.

442
00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:58,166
Well, it is kind
of a big deal, Dad.

443
00:22:58,167 --> 00:22:59,707
I think that we're
gonna get divorced.

444
00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,582
Ah, okay. Slow down.

445
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:03,875
Slow down.

446
00:23:05,542 --> 00:23:07,208
Clean your plates everyone.

447
00:23:07,792 --> 00:23:09,292
Grandma, do you have any Jell-O?

448
00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:11,417
- In the fridge.
- Okay.

449
00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:15,416
That's not what's
going on. Nobody cheated.

450
00:23:15,417 --> 00:23:17,999
Yeah, well,
so what is the problem then?

451
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,000
I don't know, it's...

452
00:23:21,083 --> 00:23:22,207
complicated.

453
00:23:22,208 --> 00:23:23,667
It's complicated.

454
00:23:25,458 --> 00:23:27,083
You don't have to tell me that.

455
00:25:26,750 --> 00:25:29,000
Is Dada going to be okay?

456
00:25:29,542 --> 00:25:31,791
Of course. What do you mean?

457
00:25:31,792 --> 00:25:35,166
I don't know,
he's just out there. On his own.

458
00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:36,416
But he's not alone.

459
00:25:36,417 --> 00:25:38,749
He loves when you boys
stay with him.

460
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:41,707
- But he sleeps on the couch.
- Huh?

461
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,291
We sleep in his bed.

462
00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:44,958
Yeah, it's awesome.

463
00:25:45,458 --> 00:25:46,542
Great.

464
00:26:06,208 --> 00:26:08,667
For fuck's sake.

465
00:26:13,667 --> 00:26:15,458
Hey there, I'm Alex Novak.

466
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,292
How you doing tonight?

467
00:26:18,042 --> 00:26:20,541
Once again I didn't want
to pay the 15 bucks,

468
00:26:20,542 --> 00:26:22,708
so... here I am.

469
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:26,582
No, I'm joking, and...

470
00:26:26,583 --> 00:26:28,417
No, no, no, I'm joking. I, uh...

471
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:31,874
I didn't pay last time, but
I was willing to pay this time,

472
00:26:31,875 --> 00:26:33,042
but I wanted to, uh...

473
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:36,999
I said, uh,
I wanted to have fun.

474
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,291
Wanted to have fun here tonight.

475
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:39,875
Anybody else wanna have fun?

476
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:41,416
Yeah?

477
00:26:41,417 --> 00:26:44,457
You know, I recently got fired.

478
00:26:44,458 --> 00:26:47,417
It's the fucking fifth time
I've been fired.

479
00:26:48,750 --> 00:26:50,500
I've only had three jobs.

480
00:26:53,667 --> 00:26:56,666
That means I've gotten fired
from two jobs fucking twice.

481
00:26:58,542 --> 00:26:59,457
Funny how things change...

482
00:26:59,458 --> 00:27:00,832
Bathroom's straight down
and to the right.

483
00:27:00,833 --> 00:27:01,957
No, I think I'm next on the...

484
00:27:01,958 --> 00:27:03,249
How things
become cool and uncool.

485
00:27:03,250 --> 00:27:04,332
They called my name.

486
00:27:04,333 --> 00:27:06,707
I drive a Tesla.

487
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:07,833
And, um...

488
00:27:09,375 --> 00:27:10,457
I just have one question.

489
00:27:10,458 --> 00:27:13,916
Can you stop keying
my fucking car?

490
00:27:13,917 --> 00:27:15,582
So, a couple months into it,

491
00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:19,166
they bring my folks in
for like a parent's day.

492
00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:21,832
They kind of catch them up
on our progress, you know?

493
00:27:21,833 --> 00:27:24,375
I'm... I'm a teenager
at this point and, uh...

494
00:27:25,042 --> 00:27:27,707
So they come in and,
and Pete says, you know,

495
00:27:27,708 --> 00:27:28,749
"Alex has been great.

496
00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:30,582
He's opened up,
and this is what's going on,

497
00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:32,124
and this is how
he feels about this

498
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:34,791
and this dynamic
that's going on at home."

499
00:27:34,792 --> 00:27:36,625
My parents just kind of listen.

500
00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,832
We're driving home,
little while later.

501
00:27:39,833 --> 00:27:41,124
And I remember this so clearly.

502
00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:44,666
I was in the back seat
of my mom's station wagon.

503
00:27:44,667 --> 00:27:46,124
But my dad was driving.
Doesn't matter.

504
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:47,916
If my Dad was in the car,
he was always driving,

505
00:27:47,917 --> 00:27:50,499
even though it was
my mom's station wagon.

506
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:53,957
And I remember her being
in the passenger seat

507
00:27:53,958 --> 00:27:57,500
and spinning around,
and looking at me and saying,

508
00:27:58,583 --> 00:28:01,541
"How dare you tell this stranger
all our family secrets."

509
00:28:04,292 --> 00:28:07,249
And I was like,
"You made go talk to the guy.

510
00:28:07,250 --> 00:28:10,249
You literally paid the guy
to listen to the problem.

511
00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:12,832
You set this up.
You drove me there."

512
00:28:12,833 --> 00:28:14,166
That's insane.

513
00:28:14,167 --> 00:28:15,333
That would be like...

514
00:28:16,458 --> 00:28:17,874
That would be like...
That'd be like your partner

515
00:28:17,875 --> 00:28:19,957
driving you to an orgy...

516
00:28:21,542 --> 00:28:22,874
and then saying,

517
00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:25,249
"I can't believe
you fucked all those people."

518
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,582
"That was the point
of being there in the...

519
00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:33,332
You knew where I was going.
I was naked in the car."

520
00:28:34,875 --> 00:28:36,582
Anyway, uh, this is, uh...

521
00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:37,957
Boy, this is starting
to actually get good

522
00:28:37,958 --> 00:28:39,124
and now my time is up.

523
00:28:39,125 --> 00:28:41,332
This is so awesome.
I will see you next time.

524
00:28:42,625 --> 00:28:44,707
Same place. I'm coming back.
We'll meet here, all right?

525
00:28:44,708 --> 00:28:46,499
We'll all meet here.
All right, I've been Alex Novak.

526
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:47,874
Thank you so much.

527
00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:49,624
Sad guy, you hanging out?

528
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:51,249
Everyone's hanging out
in the back booth to the right.

529
00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:52,374
We got
some actually funny people

530
00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:54,166
- coming to the stage next.
- Okay, thank you.

531
00:28:54,167 --> 00:28:55,541
Good.
It takes the pressure off.

532
00:28:55,542 --> 00:28:56,999
That's how I feel about my dog.

533
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:57,916
Hey.

534
00:28:57,917 --> 00:28:59,124
- Cool to sit down here?
- Yeah.

535
00:28:59,125 --> 00:29:01,291
- Look who's back.
- Just talked to Rolo upstairs.

536
00:29:01,292 --> 00:29:02,999
Hey, I remember you
from my... Yeah.

537
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,457
- What up? Dan. What up?
- Alex.

538
00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:07,874
How'd it go?
I'm surprised you back.

539
00:29:07,875 --> 00:29:08,832
- Really?
- Yeah.

540
00:29:08,833 --> 00:29:10,207
- That bad?
- Yeah, I mean...

541
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:11,624
- It wasn't bad.
- It wasn't.

542
00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:13,041
- What do you even do?
- Just say it.

543
00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:14,666
- He's gonna ask for a job.
- Come on, what is it?

544
00:29:14,667 --> 00:29:15,957
I work in finance.

545
00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:17,499
If you wanna do it again,
I'll tell you the website.

546
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:18,624
Just DM me.

547
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:20,000
- All right.
- Yeah. Just...

548
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:22,999
All the mics in the city,
badsaliva.com.

549
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,625
And just, keep going up.

550
00:29:25,542 --> 00:29:27,917
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta
go up five, six times a week.

551
00:29:29,375 --> 00:29:30,582
- Yeah.
- Five or six times?

552
00:29:30,583 --> 00:29:32,416
No, sometimes we go
five a night.

553
00:29:32,417 --> 00:29:33,582
On long nights, yeah.

554
00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:34,957
If you have like a bit
you wanna work out,

555
00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:36,541
you go five times
by the end of the night.

556
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:38,791
You got a spot.
Five minutes around the corner.

557
00:29:38,792 --> 00:29:39,916
- I'm Alex.
- Lovely.

558
00:29:39,917 --> 00:29:41,582
That's the manager,
and this is the one...

559
00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:42,666
- Oh.
- So, yeah, I have...

560
00:29:42,667 --> 00:29:44,374
Don't make eye contact
with her. Jesus.

561
00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:45,832
- Yeah, look down.
- Shut up.

562
00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:47,166
- I have four rooms.
- Sorry.

563
00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:49,832
You can see downstairs
where you just were.

564
00:29:49,833 --> 00:29:50,833
Yeah.

565
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,249
Stop showing off
in front of your friend

566
00:29:52,250 --> 00:29:53,749
with Laverne
and Shirley back there.

567
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,082
Fuck you!

568
00:29:55,083 --> 00:29:57,041
- We got jobs.
- I'm Laverne. I'm Laverne.

569
00:29:57,042 --> 00:29:58,291
What's your name again?

570
00:29:58,292 --> 00:30:00,041
- Alex.
- Alex, come here.

571
00:30:00,042 --> 00:30:02,041
- Hey man, that's my white slave.
- Shut up.

572
00:30:03,042 --> 00:30:04,332
You can have him.
Take him.

573
00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:06,416
Come talk
to some real comedians.

574
00:30:06,417 --> 00:30:07,332
What's up, man?

575
00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:09,208
Yo, you hold my pocket
when we leave.

576
00:30:11,542 --> 00:30:14,166
You can't treat comedy
like prison, man, Dan.

577
00:30:14,167 --> 00:30:15,457
He's <i>Scared Straight</i> -ing him.

578
00:30:15,458 --> 00:30:17,916
- Dan, don't <i>Scared Straight</i> him.
- He's scared straight.

579
00:30:17,917 --> 00:30:18,832
He's scared white.

580
00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:21,082
You gonna be all right.
How often are you getting up?

581
00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:23,624
I don't know, man.
Tonight was my second time.

582
00:30:23,625 --> 00:30:25,124
I put it to you like,
my pop used to let me

583
00:30:25,125 --> 00:30:26,874
watch <i>Def Jam</i> when I was six,

584
00:30:26,875 --> 00:30:29,457
but he would act like he
was telling me not to watch it.

585
00:30:29,458 --> 00:30:32,082
"Hey, me and your stepmom
are watchin' the program.

586
00:30:32,083 --> 00:30:34,624
It's on HBO. Go upstairs
and watch something else."

587
00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:36,457
And then wink at me.
And I'll be like, "Oh, shit."

588
00:30:36,458 --> 00:30:38,582
I actually got caught by my dad.

589
00:30:38,583 --> 00:30:40,166
I was trying to watch porn.

590
00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:41,791
You know, like, the,
the late night HBO,

591
00:30:41,792 --> 00:30:43,416
the <i>Taxicab Confessions</i>
or whatever.

592
00:30:43,417 --> 00:30:45,291
- Oh, yeah. <i>Real Sex.</i>
- I was trying to watch porn,

593
00:30:45,292 --> 00:30:48,624
and it was <i>Def Comedy Jam,</i>
and I saw Greer Barnes on stage

594
00:30:48,625 --> 00:30:51,207
doing a joke about Mike Tyson
and Arnold Schwarzenegger

595
00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:52,582
sharing a jail cell together.

596
00:30:52,583 --> 00:30:54,082
I was dying laughing,

597
00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:55,957
and I asked my dad,
I was like, "Is that a job?"

598
00:30:55,958 --> 00:30:58,457
And he was like, "Yeah.
You gotta go to college first."

599
00:30:58,458 --> 00:31:00,499
- Been doing jokes ever since.
- Gotta get up everyday.

600
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,957
Open that diary,
Anne Frank. Get to it.

601
00:31:02,958 --> 00:31:04,082
What? What's wrong?

602
00:31:04,083 --> 00:31:05,582
You guys just
write stuff down all day?

603
00:31:05,583 --> 00:31:07,499
I said to open up his diary
if he gonna write any jokes.

604
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:09,082
- You gotta write.
- Work on your craft.

605
00:31:09,083 --> 00:31:11,375
You gotta write.

606
00:31:26,583 --> 00:31:30,042
Just... I was just watching CNN,
and they say it's official,

607
00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:32,917
according to scientists...

608
00:31:33,542 --> 00:31:36,166
No. According to scientists,
it's official,

609
00:31:36,167 --> 00:31:37,833
guys get hotter with age.

610
00:31:39,042 --> 00:31:39,916
Big win.

611
00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:42,957
Then we convinced them,
you know what's really hot?

612
00:31:42,958 --> 00:31:43,958
Dad bods.

613
00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:45,916
You kiddin' me? We're on a roll.

614
00:31:45,917 --> 00:31:47,666
It's like, we're playing
with house money now.

615
00:31:47,667 --> 00:31:49,874
What else...
What else can we get away with?

616
00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:52,208
You know what's super hot?
Being poor.

617
00:32:09,708 --> 00:32:11,207
- He stole it.
- You can't take...

618
00:32:11,208 --> 00:32:12,666
- Hello. Good morning. Hi.
- He doesn't even need it.

619
00:32:12,667 --> 00:32:13,582
- Hey. Hi.
- Hey.

620
00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:14,832
Hey. Look who's here?

621
00:32:14,833 --> 00:32:16,124
- Hi, guys! Hi! Hi, guys.
- Dad?

622
00:32:16,125 --> 00:32:17,582
I thought Mom
was taking us to school.

623
00:32:17,583 --> 00:32:18,832
- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah, I know.

624
00:32:18,833 --> 00:32:20,832
But maybe
there's a surprise outside

625
00:32:20,833 --> 00:32:22,624
and maybe this
has something to do with it.

626
00:32:22,625 --> 00:32:23,749
Is that a new car?

627
00:32:23,750 --> 00:32:24,832
I don't know if the term "car"

628
00:32:24,833 --> 00:32:25,916
really does it
any kind of justice.

629
00:32:25,917 --> 00:32:26,874
- Alex.
- Let's go. It's right outside.

630
00:32:26,875 --> 00:32:28,041
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Come check it out.

631
00:32:28,042 --> 00:32:29,291
Hold on!
We're eating breakfast here.

632
00:32:29,292 --> 00:32:30,583
Come on, here we go.

633
00:32:32,042 --> 00:32:33,832
- This is sick.
- Look at that!

634
00:32:33,833 --> 00:32:35,041
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

635
00:32:35,042 --> 00:32:36,374
- Hey! Hold on a second!
- Whoa, this is cool.

636
00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:38,059
- Hang on. Let me get your mom.
- Whoa. This is cool.

637
00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:40,416
- What? What did you do?
- I am gonna immortalize

638
00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:43,124
the first moment that you
lay eyes on this beauty.

639
00:32:43,125 --> 00:32:44,124
This is not how it's gonna work.

640
00:32:44,125 --> 00:32:46,291
Look at this thing.
This gives you the morning off.

641
00:32:46,292 --> 00:32:48,374
From what?
The morning off from what?

642
00:32:48,375 --> 00:32:50,332
I don't know. The Olympics
are here in two years.

643
00:32:50,333 --> 00:32:51,249
What?

644
00:32:51,250 --> 00:32:52,499
Who knows
what you're capable of?

645
00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:53,833
- What did you say?
- All right.

646
00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:57,375
The fucking Olympics?
Does he think that's funny?

647
00:32:58,042 --> 00:32:59,166
Fuck him.

648
00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:01,500
I mean, does he think
this is about me?

649
00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:04,125
No, 'cause it's not.

650
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:08,042
No, he didn't say it.
He never says anything.

651
00:33:08,667 --> 00:33:10,000
I mean, isn't that typical?

652
00:33:10,333 --> 00:33:12,917
My God, you should know,
you're his mom!

653
00:33:14,042 --> 00:33:15,042
Marilyn!

654
00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:17,291
- Hey.
- I rang the doorbell.

655
00:33:17,292 --> 00:33:19,374
I hate the phone.

656
00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:20,749
I just wanted to see you.

657
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:22,041
- Come inside. You're sweet.
- No, no, no.

658
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,707
Jan doesn't even know
I left the house.

659
00:33:23,708 --> 00:33:24,957
I gotta get right back.

660
00:33:24,958 --> 00:33:26,916
- Okay.
- I just...

661
00:33:26,917 --> 00:33:28,291
You're both in shock.

662
00:33:28,292 --> 00:33:29,791
- Yeah.
- That's all.

663
00:33:29,792 --> 00:33:30,707
It's okay.

664
00:33:30,708 --> 00:33:32,791
And I just wanted
to tell you one thing.

665
00:33:32,792 --> 00:33:35,166
- Okay.
- Well, two things.

666
00:33:35,167 --> 00:33:36,375
One...

667
00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:41,792
Give yourself the grace...

668
00:33:42,667 --> 00:33:44,417
to feel what you feel.

669
00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:46,749
Unfiltered.

670
00:33:46,750 --> 00:33:48,417
And number two...

671
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:52,332
The Olympics are here
in two years.

672
00:33:52,333 --> 00:33:53,874
Oh, my God.

673
00:33:53,875 --> 00:33:55,708
Marilyn, fuck you!

674
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,666
- But I get it.
- Do you?

675
00:33:59,667 --> 00:34:00,707
I get it.

676
00:34:00,708 --> 00:34:02,875
I think so. Come here.

677
00:34:06,417 --> 00:34:07,457
Are you gonna start fucking?

678
00:34:07,458 --> 00:34:08,374
Immediately.

679
00:34:08,375 --> 00:34:09,874
Yes!

680
00:34:09,875 --> 00:34:11,582
New dick. That's what you need.

681
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,041
Some new deep dickin' too.

682
00:34:13,042 --> 00:34:14,291
No pity fucks.

683
00:34:14,292 --> 00:34:15,916
Maybe that's what you need.

684
00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:17,999
It's like the one good thing
Balls and I have left.

685
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,000
Really?

686
00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:21,082
Y'all ever fuck sober?

687
00:34:21,083 --> 00:34:23,207
No. I hate him too much
to be able to do that.

688
00:34:23,208 --> 00:34:24,583
Well, that's a red flag.

689
00:34:25,333 --> 00:34:26,333
No duh.

690
00:34:26,792 --> 00:34:28,167
Hey.

691
00:34:29,125 --> 00:34:31,208
I'm gonna play
for a club team, again.

692
00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:35,167
And I've been reaching out
to people about coaching.

693
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,500
- I just worry.
- About what?

694
00:34:39,083 --> 00:34:41,333
Look, you have a full life.

695
00:34:41,917 --> 00:34:45,082
You're not defined by this
one amazing thing you did.

696
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:46,833
So, I just hope...

697
00:34:47,542 --> 00:34:51,749
that enough time has passed that
you can re-enter this world,

698
00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:53,499
without giving it
too much meaning.

699
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,249
Yeah, but I'm not gonna
be able to do that

700
00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:56,582
now that you said it out loud.

701
00:34:56,583 --> 00:34:58,082
I'm just reminding you, babe,

702
00:34:58,083 --> 00:34:59,749
you have done
other amazing things.

703
00:34:59,750 --> 00:35:00,666
Like?

704
00:35:00,667 --> 00:35:02,624
Like being a mother.

705
00:35:02,625 --> 00:35:03,666
Like this house.

706
00:35:03,667 --> 00:35:06,625
I don't give a fuck
about volleyball. You're great.

707
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:29,708
Come on, puppies.

708
00:35:31,125 --> 00:35:32,458
Come on, babies.

709
00:35:33,833 --> 00:35:36,249
Come on, Charlie.
Charlie, come to me.

710
00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,125
Come, Charlie. Yeah.

711
00:35:38,708 --> 00:35:40,375
Yes, baby.

712
00:35:41,958 --> 00:35:43,208
Come on. Come on.

713
00:35:44,083 --> 00:35:45,167
Yeah.

714
00:36:01,042 --> 00:36:02,916
- Don't move.
- Hi, Mom.

715
00:36:02,917 --> 00:36:04,624
- Hey.
- Are you lice free yet?

716
00:36:04,625 --> 00:36:07,042
- Yeah, I mean, I got it, but...
- Mom. Mom, mom, mom!

717
00:36:07,458 --> 00:36:09,292
This guy's good.
I'm just checking this guy.

718
00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:10,832
We're probably gonna have
to check each other.

719
00:36:10,833 --> 00:36:13,124
- He's gonna give you lice.
- Ew, that's disgusting.

720
00:36:13,125 --> 00:36:14,916
I gotta see if we...

721
00:36:14,917 --> 00:36:16,666
I can't tell if that's
dandruff or...

722
00:36:16,667 --> 00:36:18,499
You got some more paper towels?

723
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:20,707
I do have more paper towels.
Just did a Costco run.

724
00:36:20,708 --> 00:36:22,416
There should some
in the bedroom in the back.

725
00:36:22,417 --> 00:36:23,874
All right.

726
00:36:23,875 --> 00:36:24,957
- Dad, why do you have...
- See what I mean?

727
00:36:24,958 --> 00:36:26,666
Why are they
in a doctor's office?

728
00:36:26,667 --> 00:36:29,500
So, you...
using our old armoire?

729
00:36:30,667 --> 00:36:32,957
Yeah, I took it out of storage
until I get some more furniture.

730
00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:34,124
Why, you want me to put it back?

731
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,582
Immediately.

732
00:36:35,583 --> 00:36:37,957
No, it's just that hadn't talked
about that kind of stuff.

733
00:36:37,958 --> 00:36:40,207
Yeah. Sorry. Probably
should have asked first.

734
00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:41,458
It's fine.

735
00:36:42,625 --> 00:36:44,957
So, what do you think
about your new style?

736
00:36:44,958 --> 00:36:46,291
You know what,
I gotta get more paper towels.

737
00:36:46,292 --> 00:36:47,499
I think we should
just go with this.

738
00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:48,457
- All the time.
- Don't move. Don't move.

739
00:36:48,458 --> 00:36:49,416
- All right?
- Don't move.

740
00:36:49,417 --> 00:36:51,297
You're lice-free,
and we'll just keep this look.

741
00:36:55,542 --> 00:36:57,124
I think I might have lice.

742
00:36:57,125 --> 00:36:58,082
Hmm.

743
00:36:58,083 --> 00:37:00,666
Any... Aren't you seeing it
jump off me? Why are you...

744
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:02,124
Yeah, let's get you
in the chair.

745
00:37:02,125 --> 00:37:03,207
I think that's what we gotta do.

746
00:37:03,208 --> 00:37:05,249
Yeah, you look...
One just crawled in between...

747
00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:06,832
- No...
- Mom's pregnant.

748
00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:07,999
- You are so pregnant.
- What?

749
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,332
You hooked up with a bug.

750
00:37:09,333 --> 00:37:11,166
- All right, guys, enough.
- Guys.

751
00:37:11,167 --> 00:37:12,541
But Dad, that's how
you said you get lice.

752
00:37:12,542 --> 00:37:14,124
- Yeah... yeah.
- Oh, is that how you said it?

753
00:37:14,125 --> 00:37:16,874
No. It's bec... It was a joke,
because the video said

754
00:37:16,875 --> 00:37:18,166
we're looking
for baby eggs, all right?

755
00:37:18,167 --> 00:37:19,249
It was a joke.

756
00:37:19,250 --> 00:37:20,832
- Did you hook up with a bug?
- No.

757
00:37:20,833 --> 00:37:23,082
- Well, you've got lice so...
- Yeah, you did.

758
00:37:23,083 --> 00:37:25,124
<i>- You hooked up with a bug</i>
- You promised not to tell them.

759
00:37:25,125 --> 00:37:27,374
- You have lice, too.
- Yeah, sorry. I couldn't resist.

760
00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:28,791
All right, you know what?
You guys need to rehearse.

761
00:37:28,792 --> 00:37:30,499
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Okay.

762
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:31,874
- Get busy.
- I already know it.

763
00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:34,332
- Keep the volume down, too.
- Turn the volume up? Okay.

764
00:37:34,333 --> 00:37:35,374
No, not up.
Keep the volume down.

765
00:37:35,375 --> 00:37:36,582
Dad, do you know where
the loudspeaker is?

766
00:37:36,583 --> 00:37:37,749
I'm serious about the volume.

767
00:37:37,750 --> 00:37:39,332
So you're really
not seeing anything?

768
00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:41,917
- There's no little bites or...
- I don't think so.

769
00:37:42,625 --> 00:37:44,124
To be honest, just looking...

770
00:37:44,125 --> 00:37:45,707
Now, it's making me itch.
I think I...

771
00:37:45,708 --> 00:37:47,125
I must have it.
Would you check me?

772
00:37:47,792 --> 00:37:48,958
Sure.

773
00:37:50,542 --> 00:37:52,541
You can get
like little bites or...

774
00:37:52,542 --> 00:37:54,707
Yeah, make sure to really check.

775
00:37:54,708 --> 00:37:55,624
Yeah.

776
00:37:55,625 --> 00:37:57,625
"Under Pressure"?

777
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,957
Oh. That's what that is.

778
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,249
You didn't recognize it?

779
00:38:03,250 --> 00:38:05,957
No. The first 40 million times
I didn't recognize it.

780
00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:07,500
They're obsessed.

781
00:38:08,125 --> 00:38:08,957
It's all they talk about.

782
00:38:08,958 --> 00:38:10,749
That performance
is so far from now too.

783
00:38:10,750 --> 00:38:13,041
I wonder where they get
their work ethic from.

784
00:38:13,042 --> 00:38:14,917
Mm. Poor boys.

785
00:38:15,875 --> 00:38:17,582
Just check one more in here.

786
00:38:21,583 --> 00:38:26,333
I'm gonna dip my toe
into the coaching world.

787
00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:29,833
Is that why you were
in the city?

788
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,333
No. I was in the city
'cause you called me.

789
00:38:34,583 --> 00:38:36,499
Oh. I just figured
you were in the city,

790
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,166
because you said
you'd come right over.

791
00:38:38,167 --> 00:38:40,416
Yeah. I wanted to see
the halfway house

792
00:38:40,417 --> 00:38:42,124
our kids are living in
part time.

793
00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:43,832
I'm glad you got
the vibe that I'm going for.

794
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:45,083
Yeah, you did great.

795
00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:48,832
I haven't talked
to any programs yet, just...

796
00:38:51,833 --> 00:38:53,166
I think that's great.

797
00:38:53,167 --> 00:38:55,250
Any program would die
to have you, I'm sure.

798
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:57,167
Yeah.

799
00:38:57,792 --> 00:38:58,958
I think it's great, too.

800
00:39:01,458 --> 00:39:03,708
Um, I think you're good.

801
00:39:04,750 --> 00:39:06,250
Good. Okay.

802
00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:08,624
Do you wanna
take a shower with...

803
00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:11,249
and rinse off with some of that
special shampoo?

804
00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:12,291
Oh, oh...

805
00:39:12,292 --> 00:39:13,249
- Might as well.
- Yeah.

806
00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:14,416
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

807
00:39:14,417 --> 00:39:16,042
Bathroom's right down there
on the left.

808
00:40:02,292 --> 00:40:03,833
You got this.

809
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:06,832
So I read that the number one

810
00:40:06,833 --> 00:40:07,957
fantasy for guys...

811
00:40:07,958 --> 00:40:08,874
- Can I help you?
- Hey, man.

812
00:40:08,875 --> 00:40:09,916
Yeah, I'm here for the open mic.

813
00:40:09,917 --> 00:40:12,000
Yeah, right here. Just write
your name down there.

814
00:40:12,208 --> 00:40:13,041
Okay.

815
00:40:13,042 --> 00:40:14,042
You're next.

816
00:40:14,292 --> 00:40:15,583
- I'm next?
- Yup, be ready.

817
00:40:16,333 --> 00:40:17,249
Fuck.

818
00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:18,582
I'm getting the light,
so I gotta go.

819
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,749
Oh, the light. The light.

820
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:21,124
The light. Yeah, the light.

821
00:40:34,458 --> 00:40:36,458
Ladies and gentlemen...

822
00:40:39,625 --> 00:40:40,916
<i>- Yo, man. What's up?
- Hey.</i>

823
00:40:40,917 --> 00:40:42,291
I was actually hoping
that I could just,

824
00:40:42,292 --> 00:40:43,624
you know,
watch and hang tonight?

825
00:40:43,625 --> 00:40:46,041
- Yeah.
- Yeah? I got 15 bucks on me.

826
00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:48,874
Nah. Keep your 15 bucks.
Get yourself something nice.

827
00:40:48,875 --> 00:40:50,332
- Go on in.
- Thanks, man.

828
00:40:50,333 --> 00:40:53,208
You got it... Just... Yeah, just
finish that before you go in.

829
00:40:54,333 --> 00:40:55,749
- Finish it?
- Yeah.

830
00:40:56,667 --> 00:40:58,832
- Hey.
- Hey.

831
00:40:58,833 --> 00:41:00,513
- There he is.
- Make yourself comfortable.

832
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,041
Am I okay here?

833
00:41:02,042 --> 00:41:03,917
- Yeah. No one's sittin' here.
- You're fine.

834
00:41:04,208 --> 00:41:05,250
How was your night?

835
00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:06,958
It was pretty good.

836
00:41:07,458 --> 00:41:10,374
I went and did
a different open mic and...

837
00:41:12,542 --> 00:41:13,457
Yeah.

838
00:41:13,458 --> 00:41:15,374
You know, I've been
doing this for 25 years.

839
00:41:15,375 --> 00:41:16,707
You know what I mean?
And I love it.

840
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:17,749
I wouldn't wanna be
anywhere else.

841
00:41:17,750 --> 00:41:20,124
But what I like about you
is you're so innocent.

842
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:21,416
You're not naive,
you're innocent.

843
00:41:21,417 --> 00:41:22,666
And that's why it works.

844
00:41:22,667 --> 00:41:24,124
So that's good.
It comes outta your head,

845
00:41:24,125 --> 00:41:25,541
you put it on a piece of paper,
and you get up there.

846
00:41:25,542 --> 00:41:27,624
It's like therapy.
But, people can relate to that.

847
00:41:27,625 --> 00:41:28,832
- I don't know what it is.
- You don't know anything.

848
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:30,291
But I just do know
that coming here

849
00:41:30,292 --> 00:41:33,041
- has ended up making me feel...
- Yeah. It's a safe space.

850
00:41:33,042 --> 00:41:34,162
- Well, a lot better.
- Yeah.

851
00:41:34,333 --> 00:41:36,166
You are good...
I mean, you're bad at stand-up,

852
00:41:36,167 --> 00:41:37,374
but you're good.

853
00:41:37,375 --> 00:41:40,041
You have a good heart.
You seem like a pure...

854
00:41:40,042 --> 00:41:41,916
like I believe you that
you just found this thing,

855
00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:43,999
and now you're in love
with stand-up.

856
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,666
Other than the fact that
I'm really insulted, thank you.

857
00:41:46,667 --> 00:41:49,082
But you're bad.
You're really bad.

858
00:41:49,083 --> 00:41:49,999
Okay.

859
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,791
So I was waxing.
It didn't hurt, right?

860
00:41:51,792 --> 00:41:53,624
And then she finished
really quickly,

861
00:41:53,625 --> 00:41:54,749
like I didn't even
know what happened.

862
00:41:54,750 --> 00:41:57,667
And I was like, she goes,
"Your triangle's done." Okay.

863
00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:00,499
"Your triangle's done."

864
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:01,707
What she gave me...

865
00:42:01,708 --> 00:42:03,750
Okay, wait.
Can I use your napkin?

866
00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:07,707
What I was expecting was this.

867
00:42:07,708 --> 00:42:09,917
This is what,
what I was expecting. Okay?

868
00:42:10,292 --> 00:42:13,042
You see this?
Reasonable. Reasonable.

869
00:42:13,167 --> 00:42:15,707
What she gave me...

870
00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:24,333
is this.

871
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:27,666
- It is ridi... Look at this.
- No!

872
00:42:27,667 --> 00:42:29,332
Look at what I'm showing you.

873
00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:32,291
I'm not... This is not...
It is tiny.

874
00:42:32,292 --> 00:42:34,333
Well, I brought
my drink up. Um...

875
00:42:35,042 --> 00:42:36,582
- It's okay.
- Is that all right?

876
00:42:36,583 --> 00:42:38,541
Hang on. Do you guys mind?
I'm gonna put this right here.

877
00:42:38,542 --> 00:42:39,457
Use it!

878
00:42:39,458 --> 00:42:42,666
You okay? I'm watching it,
all right? So, don't...

879
00:42:42,667 --> 00:42:44,541
Oh, please roofie me.

880
00:42:44,542 --> 00:42:45,832
Oh.

881
00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:48,082
Please, I'd love
to get roofie'd tonight.

882
00:42:48,083 --> 00:42:49,750
Please!

883
00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:53,666
Hey, is it true that you do
magic? Is that a true story?

884
00:42:53,667 --> 00:42:55,666
Yes. That is my day job.

885
00:42:55,667 --> 00:42:58,082
One of my kids,
he's obsessed with-with magic.

886
00:42:58,083 --> 00:42:59,707
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, his birthday's coming up,

887
00:42:59,708 --> 00:43:00,624
and his mom's doing this thing,

888
00:43:00,625 --> 00:43:02,166
and I want to kinda
add something to it.

889
00:43:02,167 --> 00:43:04,832
Would you ever consider doing
something like that? Is that...?

890
00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:06,582
- Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah?

891
00:43:06,583 --> 00:43:07,663
- I'd be down. Sure.
- Okay.

892
00:43:13,958 --> 00:43:15,333
The driveway's okay?

893
00:43:17,333 --> 00:43:20,125
Okay in front of the driveway.
They're not going anywhere.

894
00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:31,917
Shit doesn't even look gold.

895
00:43:33,292 --> 00:43:34,708
I should have picked
the balloons.

896
00:43:38,375 --> 00:43:40,125
What?

897
00:43:40,625 --> 00:43:41,457
- Hey!
- Hey. Hey.

898
00:43:41,458 --> 00:43:42,707
What are you doing out here?
The door was open.

899
00:43:42,708 --> 00:43:43,832
I didn't know
what the protocol was.

900
00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:44,999
What? Get in here.

901
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,374
You guys all right?

902
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:48,291
Wow.

903
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:49,957
- It's gonna be so good.
- You really went all out.

904
00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:52,417
Hey, will you help me actually
put some more food out?

905
00:43:53,375 --> 00:43:54,874
<i>Crudités</i> in the fridge.

906
00:43:54,875 --> 00:43:56,332
- There's two of 'em.
- Okay.

907
00:43:56,333 --> 00:43:58,291
I just really need the carrots

908
00:43:58,292 --> 00:43:59,957
because they have
not touched one vegetable.

909
00:43:59,958 --> 00:44:03,207
Hi, buddy. Oh, hey. Hi, hi, hi.
You having fun?

910
00:44:03,208 --> 00:44:04,582
- Yeah.
- Yeah? How's the magician?

911
00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:05,708
- Good.
- Yeah?

912
00:44:06,208 --> 00:44:08,249
Your father's sorry
he couldn't make it.

913
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:10,374
- He's on one of his walks.
- Okay.

914
00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:13,167
Hey! There he is.

915
00:44:14,375 --> 00:44:16,125
Hey, Charlie doesn't like
to be picked up.

916
00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:17,791
Is that his name?

917
00:44:17,792 --> 00:44:19,207
Yeah. Did you really
not know Charlie's name?

918
00:44:19,208 --> 00:44:20,124
No.

919
00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:22,005
- After all this time?
- Dude, you look so good.

920
00:44:22,333 --> 00:44:23,374
- For real?
- Yeah, yeah.

921
00:44:23,375 --> 00:44:25,166
Is that... You look...
Did you lose weight?

922
00:44:25,167 --> 00:44:26,291
Is that a new sweater?

923
00:44:26,292 --> 00:44:28,832
Honestly, no,
I've had this sweater for...

924
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,291
Well, you should
keep wearing it.

925
00:44:30,292 --> 00:44:31,999
It's the guilt
eating away at you, I'm sure.

926
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,374
- The guilt?
- Christine.

927
00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:34,541
- What?
- Don't say that.

928
00:44:34,542 --> 00:44:35,499
What?

929
00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:37,957
Guilt about what? What are you
talking about, Christine?

930
00:44:37,958 --> 00:44:38,874
Is that your name?

931
00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:41,082
Christine, have I done
something to offend you?

932
00:44:41,083 --> 00:44:43,707
Because if I have, or like upset
you or something, then I'm...

933
00:44:43,708 --> 00:44:45,124
No, no, no. You know what?
Forget it.

934
00:44:45,125 --> 00:44:46,041
I'm not going to Oyster Bay.

935
00:44:46,042 --> 00:44:47,249
Don't apologize to me. What?

936
00:44:47,250 --> 00:44:48,207
- Guys.
- Why not?

937
00:44:48,208 --> 00:44:49,624
- It's a birthday party.
- Because.

938
00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:50,999
Go! Run, run, run!

939
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:52,667
Go Judey, go Judey, go Jude!

940
00:44:54,417 --> 00:44:56,041
Oh, you got my... She got my...

941
00:44:56,042 --> 00:44:57,874
You're gonna be
part of this trick, okay?

942
00:44:57,875 --> 00:44:59,207
- All right.
- Can all three of us do it?

943
00:44:59,208 --> 00:45:00,166
- Yeah.
- Yeah,

944
00:45:00,167 --> 00:45:01,667
all three of you can do it.
Okay.

945
00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:04,749
- I think I took too much.
- Honey. Oh.

946
00:45:06,250 --> 00:45:08,750
I didn't... I didn't know
I was holding the dog.

947
00:45:09,750 --> 00:45:11,042
Well, this is pretty good.

948
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,125
I'm not the reason you're
not coming to Oyster Bay, am I?

949
00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:17,707
Oh, God, no. Not at all.

950
00:45:17,708 --> 00:45:19,166
I mean, 'cause we can all go.

951
00:45:19,167 --> 00:45:20,791
It doesn't have to be awkward.
Right?

952
00:45:20,792 --> 00:45:23,791
No... you mean like it is now?

953
00:45:23,792 --> 00:45:26,707
Hey, sorry that
I just kinda lost it earlier.

954
00:45:26,708 --> 00:45:28,124
I felt really attacked
by all those guys.

955
00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:29,041
Yeah.

956
00:45:29,042 --> 00:45:30,416
I mean, why are we even talking
about Oyster Bay now at all?

957
00:45:30,417 --> 00:45:32,332
- I know.
- It's so far away.

958
00:45:32,333 --> 00:45:33,499
- They're crazy.
- Those guys,

959
00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:35,041
you know they're psychos
when it comes to planning.

960
00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:36,999
Yes.

961
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,666
All I know is we made
a couple wonderful boys.

962
00:45:39,667 --> 00:45:41,375
Right?

963
00:45:41,917 --> 00:45:43,082
Yeah.

964
00:45:44,958 --> 00:45:50,416
<i>Happy birthday, dear Jude.</i>

965
00:45:50,417 --> 00:45:55,166
<i>Happy birthday to you.</i>

966
00:46:44,208 --> 00:46:47,125
- You got it all over you.
- I know! I...

967
00:46:47,750 --> 00:46:49,542
You got it all over you, too.

968
00:46:50,208 --> 00:46:52,541
What does that have to do
with, like, opening wine?

969
00:46:52,542 --> 00:46:53,750
- Hi.
- Hi.

970
00:46:54,417 --> 00:46:55,249
Thank you so much for coming.

971
00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:56,166
Thank you so much for having me.

972
00:46:56,167 --> 00:46:57,082
You were awesome.

973
00:46:57,083 --> 00:46:57,999
- Yeah, I really appreciate it.
- The kids loved it.

974
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,791
- Hey, that was amazing.
- Thank you. Thank you.

975
00:46:59,792 --> 00:47:00,707
Oh. My balance is off.

976
00:47:00,708 --> 00:47:01,624
- Nice to meet you.
- You okay?

977
00:47:01,625 --> 00:47:02,666
- This is my buddy.
- Nice to meet you.

978
00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:03,582
Balls.

979
00:47:03,583 --> 00:47:05,082
- Balls?
- Yeah.

980
00:47:05,083 --> 00:47:06,624
Cool. Okay.

981
00:47:06,625 --> 00:47:07,541
Happens every time.

982
00:47:07,542 --> 00:47:08,875
Don't make my mom do that.

983
00:47:10,250 --> 00:47:12,416
- What happens every time?
- Nothin'.

984
00:47:12,417 --> 00:47:13,833
Okay, what's the deal?

985
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:16,832
You mean with
why you still have that beard

986
00:47:16,833 --> 00:47:18,124
even though the play's
been over for two months?

987
00:47:18,125 --> 00:47:19,916
I can't choose
when the character leaves me.

988
00:47:19,917 --> 00:47:21,124
Characters, you mean.

989
00:47:21,125 --> 00:47:23,541
Actually, I feel like
maybe it's providing,

990
00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:25,374
like, a new thing
for casting directors,

991
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:27,416
now that I'm working again.
Thank you for coming by the way.

992
00:47:27,417 --> 00:47:28,957
Twice. I came twice.

993
00:47:28,958 --> 00:47:30,624
And you didn't even go on
the second time.

994
00:47:30,625 --> 00:47:31,832
I know.

995
00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:35,749
It's because that asshole Paul
said he was gonna be sick

996
00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:36,957
and then he showed up anyway.

997
00:47:36,958 --> 00:47:39,874
But I was psyched because
he got St. Paul sick,

998
00:47:39,875 --> 00:47:41,207
and I went up
for two weeks straight.

999
00:47:41,208 --> 00:47:42,874
- It was amazing.
- Yeah, that's a bonus.

1000
00:47:42,875 --> 00:47:44,499
And people said
that I was, like...

1001
00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:45,999
- Yeah.
- Better.

1002
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,249
- Than him?
- Yeah.

1003
00:47:47,250 --> 00:47:48,166
Yeah. I bet.

1004
00:47:48,167 --> 00:47:49,707
- I got recognized on the street.
- Did you?

1005
00:47:49,708 --> 00:47:51,916
Somebody literally thought
I was a disciple. It was great.

1006
00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:54,292
But I think maybe they were,
like, a Jesus freak. But...

1007
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,499
They're not a fan
of the play necessarily.

1008
00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:58,082
Well, they saw the play a lot.

1009
00:47:58,083 --> 00:48:01,457
I think they saw the play almost
all the two weeks that I did it.

1010
00:48:01,458 --> 00:48:03,582
So, I didn't really tell them
that I was the understudy.

1011
00:48:03,583 --> 00:48:05,291
- But anyway, this is about you.
- Right.

1012
00:48:05,292 --> 00:48:08,625
Don't fucking... Don't fucking
change the subject.

1013
00:48:10,667 --> 00:48:11,708
Let me rephrase it.

1014
00:48:12,875 --> 00:48:14,333
What's the deal, man?

1015
00:48:15,500 --> 00:48:17,820
Yeah, I don't know what to
tell you, man. There is no deal.

1016
00:48:18,208 --> 00:48:19,208
Okay.

1017
00:48:19,875 --> 00:48:21,235
You don't want to tell me
her name?

1018
00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:24,333
All right.

1019
00:48:26,042 --> 00:48:27,666
If I tell you something, you
promise you won't tell anybody?

1020
00:48:27,667 --> 00:48:29,417
No. Keep going.
What's her name?

1021
00:48:31,208 --> 00:48:32,708
I've been doing stand-up.

1022
00:48:33,292 --> 00:48:34,374
Oh.

1023
00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:35,582
I don't know who that is.

1024
00:48:35,583 --> 00:48:37,416
That's a crazy handle.
What? Is she famous?

1025
00:48:37,417 --> 00:48:38,374
No, no, no. Dude,

1026
00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:41,374
I've been doing stand-up comedy
on stage downtown.

1027
00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:42,375
Okay.

1028
00:48:43,542 --> 00:48:44,666
What?

1029
00:48:44,667 --> 00:48:45,875
Is it like a hobby?

1030
00:48:47,333 --> 00:48:49,791
Well, I'm not about to
quit my job and go on tour.

1031
00:48:49,792 --> 00:48:50,792
Okay.

1032
00:48:53,208 --> 00:48:55,166
Yeah. It's just,
I-I mean, I love it, man.

1033
00:48:55,167 --> 00:48:58,041
It's great. I... You know,
it's actually pretty amazing.

1034
00:48:58,042 --> 00:49:00,999
And it's terrifying,
but I love every aspect of it,

1035
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,041
and it's something
I look forward to.

1036
00:49:03,042 --> 00:49:04,333
- Fuck.
- What?

1037
00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:10,708
I knew it.

1038
00:49:12,125 --> 00:49:13,125
Knew what?

1039
00:49:14,375 --> 00:49:16,708
Just like...

1040
00:49:19,458 --> 00:49:22,249
You've always been the funniest
guy in the room forever, right?

1041
00:49:22,250 --> 00:49:23,499
Ever since college,

1042
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:25,207
and now that you're actually
fucking pursuing it...

1043
00:49:25,208 --> 00:49:26,416
I'm not pursing anything.

1044
00:49:26,417 --> 00:49:28,083
You're gonna kill it.
It's inevitable.

1045
00:49:28,833 --> 00:49:33,708
And it kills me that I hate it
so much because I-I have...

1046
00:49:34,333 --> 00:49:35,916
always gotten comfort

1047
00:49:35,917 --> 00:49:37,207
in knowing that you settled.

1048
00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:38,708
That you're a settler.

1049
00:49:40,250 --> 00:49:43,083
And I-I'm the guy who...

1050
00:49:44,458 --> 00:49:47,041
Even though, you know, is
going for it. That's my thing.

1051
00:49:47,042 --> 00:49:48,541
Jesus, Balls.

1052
00:49:48,542 --> 00:49:50,707
I know. It's been a lot
for me to carry around.

1053
00:49:50,708 --> 00:49:52,457
Just so nothing
gets misconstrued,

1054
00:49:52,458 --> 00:49:53,707
I don't have a girlfriend.

1055
00:49:53,708 --> 00:49:55,499
- Oh, you do whatever you want.
- I don't.

1056
00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:56,541
Look, it doesn't matter.

1057
00:49:56,542 --> 00:49:57,624
You don't have to
justify yourself.

1058
00:49:57,625 --> 00:49:59,332
You're famous now, anyway.
So, whatevs.

1059
00:49:59,333 --> 00:50:00,582
What are you talking about, man?

1060
00:50:00,583 --> 00:50:02,124
Look, you don't have
to justify yourself.

1061
00:50:02,125 --> 00:50:03,208
Listen to me. To anybody.

1062
00:50:03,708 --> 00:50:04,999
Not to Tess, not to anybody.

1063
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:08,000
Just like Tess doesn't
have to justify herself to you.

1064
00:50:08,875 --> 00:50:09,875
Justify what?

1065
00:50:12,208 --> 00:50:13,208
Nothing.

1066
00:50:13,667 --> 00:50:16,041
- Is Tess seeing someone?
- No.

1067
00:50:16,042 --> 00:50:17,291
I mean, is she open to it?

1068
00:50:17,292 --> 00:50:18,374
I wouldn't know.
I don't think so.

1069
00:50:18,375 --> 00:50:20,625
But is she? Yeah. Maybe.

1070
00:50:21,417 --> 00:50:22,666
Did Christine say something?

1071
00:50:22,667 --> 00:50:23,832
Who?

1072
00:50:23,833 --> 00:50:24,875
Christine?

1073
00:50:25,750 --> 00:50:26,749
Ab-About what?

1074
00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,249
About Tess seeing somebody.

1075
00:50:28,250 --> 00:50:29,292
No. Did she?

1076
00:50:29,833 --> 00:50:31,125
I'm asking you.

1077
00:50:32,500 --> 00:50:33,957
- What are you...
- Well, did you hear anything?

1078
00:50:33,958 --> 00:50:35,166
What did Christine say about it?

1079
00:50:35,167 --> 00:50:36,708
What did she say?

1080
00:50:37,083 --> 00:50:38,583
Dude, I'm asking you.

1081
00:50:42,875 --> 00:50:45,291
Hey, Olga? I just
put a bunch of trash there.

1082
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,166
- Is there anything else?
- No. All good. Thank you.

1083
00:50:47,167 --> 00:50:49,042
Good. Okay. Thank you.

1084
00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:53,417
Hey.

1085
00:50:54,750 --> 00:50:56,333
- Yeah?
- Are you leaving?

1086
00:50:58,500 --> 00:51:00,125
I was just finishing
cleaning up.

1087
00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:02,958
Yeah, I-I gotta go.

1088
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,000
How you doing?

1089
00:51:14,625 --> 00:51:15,958
All right.

1090
00:51:18,667 --> 00:51:20,874
Oh, man. I'm Alex.

1091
00:51:20,875 --> 00:51:22,291
How's everybody feeling tonight?

1092
00:51:23,292 --> 00:51:25,208
Good. I'm feeling pretty good.

1093
00:51:26,167 --> 00:51:29,582
I, uh... I'm recently separated
from my wife.

1094
00:51:29,583 --> 00:51:32,082
No. Oh, thank you.

1095
00:51:33,417 --> 00:51:38,166
And, uh, I think that
she's maybe seeing someone.

1096
00:51:38,167 --> 00:51:39,749
Yeah, I just found out
the possibility

1097
00:51:39,750 --> 00:51:40,999
that she's seeing someone,

1098
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,791
and I'm handling it just fine,
I think.

1099
00:51:42,792 --> 00:51:45,166
Right? And, uh...

1100
00:51:45,167 --> 00:51:47,499
So I just made up
a list of, uh...

1101
00:51:47,500 --> 00:51:50,875
possible worst case scenarios,
which I think is really healthy.

1102
00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:52,707
Number one.

1103
00:51:52,708 --> 00:51:55,625
This guy is a radiologist.

1104
00:51:56,042 --> 00:51:59,750
Because that would mean
he's knowledgeable,

1105
00:52:00,375 --> 00:52:03,958
he's noble,
and he makes a ton of money.

1106
00:52:04,792 --> 00:52:08,541
Terrible. So, that's number one.
Number two. He surfs.

1107
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:10,166
Because surfing
is so fucking cool,

1108
00:52:10,167 --> 00:52:13,332
and those guys seem like
they're really cool,

1109
00:52:13,333 --> 00:52:15,666
and that they, like,
can do anything,

1110
00:52:15,667 --> 00:52:18,249
and they drive old trucks.

1111
00:52:18,250 --> 00:52:20,833
You know, and they don't care,
they never wear shoes.

1112
00:52:21,625 --> 00:52:24,667
And, uh, they never met a jar
they couldn't open.

1113
00:52:25,125 --> 00:52:25,999
You know what I mean?

1114
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,874
And they don't need to cut
their hair, or do anything.

1115
00:52:28,875 --> 00:52:31,333
And they're always suntanned.
Um...

1116
00:52:31,792 --> 00:52:33,999
And they look like they got
really strong forearms,

1117
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:35,041
you know?

1118
00:52:35,042 --> 00:52:37,707
Which is, thinking about, um,

1119
00:52:37,708 --> 00:52:39,791
someone you love,
like a lady you love,

1120
00:52:39,792 --> 00:52:41,957
with a guy with
really strong forearms.

1121
00:52:43,042 --> 00:52:47,042
Uh, my forearms
are basically atrophied. Um...

1122
00:52:48,417 --> 00:52:50,917
No, that's not true. I actually
do work out a fair bit.

1123
00:52:51,875 --> 00:52:55,124
I've got, um,
what I would describe as, um,

1124
00:52:55,125 --> 00:52:57,499
and a lot of ladies would
describe, as a dad bod.

1125
00:53:00,083 --> 00:53:03,457
By the way, it occurs to me that
men have done a really good job

1126
00:53:03,458 --> 00:53:07,583
of convincing women
that dad bods are a good thing.

1127
00:53:08,250 --> 00:53:10,499
You know? Like, we go, like,
"Oh, he's got a dad bod."

1128
00:53:10,500 --> 00:53:14,957
We're like, "Okay." It's like we
all got together and conspired.

1129
00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:16,541
You know what I mean? Anyway.

1130
00:53:16,542 --> 00:53:17,749
Um...

1131
00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:21,458
So, yeah, so...
radiologist, surfer.

1132
00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:25,457
Nightmare if he was
a surfing radiologist.

1133
00:53:26,417 --> 00:53:29,208
Because that would be...
that would be...

1134
00:53:35,708 --> 00:53:38,916
It would, like... Like, what,
he's gonna pull up to my house

1135
00:53:38,917 --> 00:53:42,624
with his dumb,
beautiful Porsche.

1136
00:53:42,625 --> 00:53:46,375
Um, and take her out
on... on a date?

1137
00:53:48,625 --> 00:53:49,625
I mean...

1138
00:53:51,167 --> 00:53:53,542
Jill, this is where I got stuck.

1139
00:53:54,333 --> 00:53:55,749
Keep... Keep going?

1140
00:53:55,750 --> 00:53:57,208
Yeah, I don't... Okay.

1141
00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:59,082
This is the...

1142
00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:01,124
What did I write
on my thing after...?

1143
00:54:01,125 --> 00:54:02,041
You wrote...

1144
00:54:02,042 --> 00:54:04,541
What did I say
after I take them, uh...

1145
00:54:04,542 --> 00:54:05,457
I take them on a date?

1146
00:54:05,458 --> 00:54:06,457
It's right there on the thing.

1147
00:54:06,458 --> 00:54:08,416
It says "I have small penis."

1148
00:54:08,417 --> 00:54:10,207
It does not say
I have a small penis!

1149
00:54:10,208 --> 00:54:12,542
"I have a very small penis."

1150
00:54:14,208 --> 00:54:15,291
Oh, I follow them.

1151
00:54:15,292 --> 00:54:17,624
I follow them. I follow them.
Thank you very much.

1152
00:54:17,625 --> 00:54:18,832
- You're welcome.
- That's my friend Jill

1153
00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:20,582
who's very helpful, um...

1154
00:54:20,583 --> 00:54:22,249
By the way,
if I had a small penis,

1155
00:54:22,250 --> 00:54:24,166
I wouldn't need
to remind myself.

1156
00:54:24,167 --> 00:54:26,832
I feel like I would, um...

1157
00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:28,332
By the way, I don't.

1158
00:54:28,333 --> 00:54:29,457
Anyway.

1159
00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:33,208
I don't know. Uh...

1160
00:54:33,792 --> 00:54:34,792
And...

1161
00:54:35,333 --> 00:54:36,582
So, anyway...

1162
00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,916
I-I left you a little something.

1163
00:54:39,917 --> 00:54:42,957
Just to for you to remember
to have confidence.

1164
00:54:42,958 --> 00:54:45,624
The folder is unacceptable.
Bright yellow?

1165
00:54:45,625 --> 00:54:47,291
Why? This is where
I keep everything organized.

1166
00:54:47,292 --> 00:54:51,124
It's just, "I'm a dad
coming to..." We don't do that.

1167
00:54:51,125 --> 00:54:53,582
We have it in here, like adults.

1168
00:54:53,583 --> 00:54:56,082
I like the way that you
even wrote it in uppercase

1169
00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:57,749
just to make sure that
it looks like I wrote it.

1170
00:54:57,750 --> 00:54:59,082
- Like a dude wrote it.
- Yeah, yeah.

1171
00:54:59,083 --> 00:55:01,999
I embossed it.
I matched your handwriting.

1172
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,582
It's untraceable. To me.

1173
00:55:06,083 --> 00:55:08,957
I think we should fuck.
I think we should fuck.

1174
00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:10,374
- You and me?
- Yeah.

1175
00:55:10,375 --> 00:55:12,332
Is that crazy?
I think we should fuck.

1176
00:55:12,333 --> 00:55:13,500
Is that crazy?

1177
00:55:13,875 --> 00:55:15,333
We're gonna fuck.

1178
00:55:45,125 --> 00:55:46,333
Are you a nurse?

1179
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:48,624
No, I'm a comedian.

1180
00:55:48,625 --> 00:55:49,999
Are you a fucking nurse?

1181
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:51,417
Don't let my cat out.

1182
00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:11,666
Jill?

1183
00:56:11,667 --> 00:56:14,333
<i>And don't answer my buzzer.</i>

1184
00:56:22,542 --> 00:56:25,124
I understand it now,
so I'm good.

1185
00:56:25,125 --> 00:56:26,041
Same.

1186
00:56:26,042 --> 00:56:27,291
No, you don't
understand it now, dude.

1187
00:56:27,292 --> 00:56:28,207
Yes, I do, anyways.

1188
00:56:28,208 --> 00:56:30,500
You guys gonna crush this
"Under Pressure" thing or what?

1189
00:56:30,958 --> 00:56:32,832
- Gonna crush it.
- You're screwing me up.

1190
00:56:32,833 --> 00:56:34,166
- Dad?
- Yeah?

1191
00:56:34,167 --> 00:56:36,708
- Are you sad?
- No. Why, do I look sad?

1192
00:56:40,667 --> 00:56:43,832
Hey! No, hey, hey.
What the fuck, guys?

1193
00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,250
Sorry.

1194
00:56:46,250 --> 00:56:48,874
Guys, where'd you find this?

1195
00:56:48,875 --> 00:56:49,957
- By your bed.
- By your bed.

1196
00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:51,082
Like where the stand is.

1197
00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:53,916
Okay. You're not supposed to
touch other people's stuff.

1198
00:56:53,917 --> 00:56:55,499
But it was like,
right on your side table.

1199
00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:57,707
- I know, I know, I know.
- It's right where I sleep.

1200
00:56:57,708 --> 00:56:58,707
I know, but when peop...

1201
00:56:58,708 --> 00:56:59,791
It was right next to
where we sleep.

1202
00:56:59,792 --> 00:57:01,541
I know,
but when people leave stuff...

1203
00:57:01,542 --> 00:57:03,416
When it's other people's
personal property

1204
00:57:03,417 --> 00:57:04,957
that's obviously their property,

1205
00:57:04,958 --> 00:57:06,374
you don't touch it, okay?

1206
00:57:06,375 --> 00:57:07,999
Like, that's just like
a rule in life.

1207
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,582
Yeah, but it's weird.
Like, really weird.

1208
00:57:09,583 --> 00:57:11,333
Okay, I know. But it's just...

1209
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,500
It's just a joke book, okay?

1210
00:57:15,458 --> 00:57:16,542
Jokes?

1211
00:57:17,042 --> 00:57:19,917
No, more like... just maybe...

1212
00:57:21,167 --> 00:57:22,582
jokes that
I've been thinking about.

1213
00:57:22,583 --> 00:57:24,374
You know, like, like made up...

1214
00:57:24,375 --> 00:57:25,707
- funny stories.
- They aren't funny, Dad.

1215
00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:28,707
You write about so much stuff,
like... radio-ologist.

1216
00:57:28,708 --> 00:57:30,083
And surfer.

1217
00:57:32,042 --> 00:57:35,625
- What's a radio-ologist?
- And talk about us and Mom.

1218
00:57:36,583 --> 00:57:38,957
I know, I know, but you guys...
you guys are real.

1219
00:57:38,958 --> 00:57:40,332
And me and your mom are real.

1220
00:57:40,333 --> 00:57:43,416
And the radiologist is made up.
He's a kind of doctor.

1221
00:57:43,417 --> 00:57:45,374
And the surfer...
The surfer's made up.

1222
00:57:45,375 --> 00:57:48,125
Those are just characters, okay?
And... and it's like, I'm...

1223
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:53,707
It's like I'm making up stories,
you know,

1224
00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:55,999
because a lot of stuff
is changing.

1225
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,957
Right? And it's... and it's
kind of a way to process it all.

1226
00:57:58,958 --> 00:58:00,624
- Do you know what I mean?
- Mm-hmm.

1227
00:58:00,625 --> 00:58:04,042
Oh, no. Come on.
Come on, come on. Hey, hey.

1228
00:58:05,083 --> 00:58:06,666
Hey, listen. Hey, hey.

1229
00:58:06,667 --> 00:58:08,291
No, listen, none of it's real.

1230
00:58:08,292 --> 00:58:10,207
That's all made-up stuff, okay?

1231
00:58:10,208 --> 00:58:12,166
Come on. Come on.
It's just made up.

1232
00:58:12,167 --> 00:58:15,333
None of it's real life,
really. Okay?

1233
00:58:15,833 --> 00:58:17,793
You know how sometimes
you use your imagination...

1234
00:58:18,833 --> 00:58:22,375
to make up stories, you know?
And games and stuff?

1235
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:24,208
It's like that.

1236
00:58:25,458 --> 00:58:27,749
It's like the grown-up version
of that.

1237
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:29,333
And I'm... I'm just...

1238
00:58:32,417 --> 00:58:34,542
I don't know what I'm doing.

1239
00:58:36,375 --> 00:58:37,499
But you can ask me anything

1240
00:58:37,500 --> 00:58:38,957
and I'll tell you
the truth, okay?

1241
00:58:38,958 --> 00:58:41,416
Okay, but it's weird, Dad.

1242
00:58:41,417 --> 00:58:43,708
I know. Life's weird.

1243
00:58:46,667 --> 00:58:48,083
Sorry.

1244
00:58:54,333 --> 00:58:56,582
- Hey, Kemp.
<i>- Hey. I got a set for you.</i>

1245
00:58:56,583 --> 00:58:57,792
O-Okay.

1246
00:58:58,167 --> 00:58:59,124
It's so weird.

1247
00:58:59,125 --> 00:59:01,833
- Like an open mic thing?
<i>- No, no, no, guest spot.</i>

1248
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:03,832
- Really?
<i>- Yep.</i>

1249
00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:05,500
Wow. Okay.

1250
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:08,666
- When? Is...
<i>- Tonight, 8:00.</i>

1251
00:59:08,667 --> 00:59:10,791
- Tonight, as in today, tonight?
<i>- Yeah.</i>

1252
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,582
No, I don't know.
I don't know if I can...

1253
00:59:13,583 --> 00:59:15,792
I don't know if I
can really step... step away.

1254
00:59:16,667 --> 00:59:18,457
No, no. Wait. Sorry. Sorry.

1255
00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:19,874
No, no, no. Wait.
I'll do it. I'll do it.

1256
00:59:19,875 --> 00:59:21,155
Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll do it.

1257
00:59:22,458 --> 00:59:23,707
- Hey. Hey.
- Hey.

1258
00:59:23,708 --> 00:59:25,249
What's going on?
Is everything okay?

1259
00:59:25,250 --> 00:59:26,374
Yeah, everything's great.
Everything's great.

1260
00:59:26,375 --> 00:59:27,332
Everything's good.

1261
00:59:27,333 --> 00:59:29,249
- Are the boys okay?
- Yeah, the boys are great.

1262
00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:30,332
Hey, listen, do you mind

1263
00:59:30,333 --> 00:59:31,999
if I drop them off here
for a couple hours?

1264
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,166
- I know it's last minute, but...
- What the fuck?

1265
00:59:34,167 --> 00:59:35,457
No, no, I...
Listen, Tess, please...

1266
00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:38,124
Listen, don't ambush me
like this in front of the boys

1267
00:59:38,125 --> 00:59:40,541
as though they can't come home
whenever they want.

1268
00:59:40,542 --> 00:59:43,749
Like I'm trying to keep them
from being inside?

1269
00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:45,833
Come on. That sucks.

1270
00:59:46,542 --> 00:59:48,292
- Look...
- You suck.

1271
00:59:49,667 --> 00:59:50,792
<i>You</i> suck!

1272
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:53,207
- What the fuck?
- Hey, where are you going?

1273
00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:54,832
You know, I got it covered.

1274
00:59:54,833 --> 00:59:56,624
- No, where are you going?
- No, no, forget it. Forget it.

1275
00:59:56,625 --> 00:59:57,791
- Hey, Lucy! No!
- Yeah. Good.

1276
00:59:57,792 --> 00:59:58,916
Let's go, Charlie, let's go!

1277
00:59:58,917 --> 01:00:00,999
- No, Charlie, stay!
- No, I got 'em all.

1278
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,166
- What?
- I got it covered.

1279
01:00:02,167 --> 01:00:03,082
You don't even have leashes.

1280
01:00:03,083 --> 01:00:05,375
No, it's okay.
I got my own leashes.

1281
01:00:05,708 --> 01:00:07,875
I got lots of leashes.

1282
01:00:10,167 --> 01:00:11,166
Okay.

1283
01:00:11,167 --> 01:00:13,083
- Hi, Grandma!
- Puppy dogs!

1284
01:00:14,375 --> 01:00:17,374
- Hi, darlin's.
- I'm sorry. Sorry about this.

1285
01:00:17,375 --> 01:00:18,457
I know it's last minute.
Come on.

1286
01:00:18,458 --> 01:00:21,166
Please. I'm so happy
that you thought of us.

1287
01:00:21,167 --> 01:00:23,249
Are you kidding?
Who else would we think of?

1288
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:25,749
- Please do not feed the dogs.
- Hi, Grandpa.

1289
01:00:25,750 --> 01:00:26,874
Okay.

1290
01:00:26,875 --> 01:00:29,416
- Hey, Dad. Hi. Hey.
- Hey, son. Hi.

1291
01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:30,707
No, no, no.

1292
01:00:30,708 --> 01:00:32,207
- I can't stay for dinner.
- What?

1293
01:00:32,208 --> 01:00:34,207
- I gotta go back to the city.
- Well, yes, you can.

1294
01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:37,707
It's not good to run around
on an empty stomach.

1295
01:00:37,708 --> 01:00:40,457
Read between the lines, Marilyn.
He's got a hot date.

1296
01:00:40,458 --> 01:00:42,041
- Dad, don't...
- Hot date?

1297
01:00:42,042 --> 01:00:44,207
- You can stay for a quick bite.
- Dad has a hot date?

1298
01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:45,541
No, I can't stay
for a quick bite.

1299
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:47,374
- I gotta get back to the city.
- Do you have any Jell-O?

1300
01:00:47,375 --> 01:00:49,707
I told you...
No, no, no. I have to go...

1301
01:00:49,708 --> 01:00:51,624
If you must know,
I gotta get changed

1302
01:00:51,625 --> 01:00:53,082
and I'm going to a comedy club.

1303
01:00:53,083 --> 01:00:54,999
What? Well, you can go later.

1304
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:56,541
You know, you want to go later,

1305
01:00:56,542 --> 01:00:58,207
because they usually
put the guys

1306
01:00:58,208 --> 01:00:59,624
who ain't so funny
at the beginning,

1307
01:00:59,625 --> 01:01:01,541
and then... so the pros
look better later on.

1308
01:01:01,542 --> 01:01:04,292
No, I can't...
I can't be late because I'm...

1309
01:01:04,875 --> 01:01:07,000
- I'm one of the guys going up.
- What?

1310
01:01:08,042 --> 01:01:09,457
I've been doing open mic nights.

1311
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:11,499
- What's an open mic?
- I just... And, they...

1312
01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:12,707
I just got a call that
one of the comics

1313
01:01:12,708 --> 01:01:14,332
who's emceeing
at the club tonight,

1314
01:01:14,333 --> 01:01:16,499
they agreed to give me
ten minutes on stage.

1315
01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:17,957
I'm one of the acts.
One of the comedy acts.

1316
01:01:17,958 --> 01:01:19,499
- You?
- Yeah, me.

1317
01:01:19,500 --> 01:01:23,708
Well... so, I don't know...
What do you do, you tell jokes?

1318
01:01:24,458 --> 01:01:26,374
I mean, sort of.
Well, kind of...

1319
01:01:26,375 --> 01:01:28,124
more like funny stories
about my life.

1320
01:01:28,125 --> 01:01:29,666
- Oh, honey.
- What's funny about your life?

1321
01:01:29,667 --> 01:01:31,374
I had no idea
your life was so bad.

1322
01:01:31,375 --> 01:01:32,916
No, no, no, it's not so bad.

1323
01:01:32,917 --> 01:01:35,249
- This is why she threw you out!
- What's funny about your life?

1324
01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:37,624
- She threw you out?
- Nobody threw me out, guys.

1325
01:01:37,625 --> 01:01:39,957
No, I love her.
Mom, what are you doing?

1326
01:01:39,958 --> 01:01:41,582
Nobody threw me out.
Nobody threw me out.

1327
01:01:41,583 --> 01:01:42,957
- I left by mutual consent.
- She threw you out?

1328
01:01:42,958 --> 01:01:45,457
No. Everybody knows that.
I left by mutual consent.

1329
01:01:45,458 --> 01:01:48,291
And, by the way, I'm not
in a bad place. I'm happy.

1330
01:01:48,292 --> 01:01:50,875
And doing this,
it makes me feel good.

1331
01:01:51,458 --> 01:01:54,791
- You know? It helps.
- How? How does it help

1332
01:01:54,792 --> 01:01:57,624
to have a roomful of people
laughing at you?

1333
01:01:57,625 --> 01:01:59,166
- They're not laughing at me.
- Son. Son.

1334
01:01:59,167 --> 01:02:00,749
And it's not bad
to have them laugh.

1335
01:02:00,750 --> 01:02:03,332
Son, you know what this is?
This is a mid-life crisis.

1336
01:02:03,333 --> 01:02:04,707
- That's what it is.
- Oh, Dad...

1337
01:02:04,708 --> 01:02:07,499
So, why you... Just go
get yourself a motorcycle.

1338
01:02:07,500 --> 01:02:08,999
I don't know. A leather jacket.

1339
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,124
No. Dad, listen.
I love you very much.

1340
01:02:10,125 --> 01:02:11,707
- I love you all. Love you guys.
- Come on.

1341
01:02:11,708 --> 01:02:13,416
I will see you in the morning.
Thank you so much.

1342
01:02:13,417 --> 01:02:15,457
Remember to pick us up
on your new motorcycle!

1343
01:02:15,458 --> 01:02:17,124
Nobody's getting a motorcycle.

1344
01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:20,125
No, it is definitely not a date.

1345
01:02:20,708 --> 01:02:24,457
Because he has a wife,
and he's had children.

1346
01:02:24,458 --> 01:02:26,292
They've been together for ages.

1347
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,083
Yes, yes. Always just friends.

1348
01:02:29,792 --> 01:02:31,041
He called because he heard that

1349
01:02:31,042 --> 01:02:33,000
I was putting out feelers
about coaching.

1350
01:02:50,333 --> 01:02:51,333
Okay.

1351
01:02:57,792 --> 01:02:59,999
- Hey. I'm meeting...
- Hi, welcome.

1352
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,250
I see him right there.
Thank you.

1353
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,125
Excuse me. Hey.

1354
01:03:09,792 --> 01:03:10,624
How you doing?

1355
01:03:10,625 --> 01:03:12,291
"We're gonna need that hand,
Roche!"

1356
01:03:12,292 --> 01:03:15,124
Stop.

1357
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:17,832
I used to slam the floor
so fucking hard

1358
01:03:17,833 --> 01:03:19,749
and pretend it didn't hurt.

1359
01:03:19,750 --> 01:03:21,791
Look, that's what made you
a champion.

1360
01:03:21,792 --> 01:03:24,125
Your singular focus,
your dedication.

1361
01:03:25,292 --> 01:03:28,082
That's why I heard
you wanted to get into coaching,

1362
01:03:28,083 --> 01:03:29,374
I had to reach out.

1363
01:03:29,375 --> 01:03:30,916
It's very flattering.

1364
01:03:30,917 --> 01:03:32,624
I was really excited
you reached out.

1365
01:03:32,625 --> 01:03:34,916
Half the US Women's
volleyball team

1366
01:03:34,917 --> 01:03:37,249
has come out of our program.

1367
01:03:37,250 --> 01:03:39,416
And the truth is,
I've been missing it

1368
01:03:39,417 --> 01:03:41,667
every single day
since I retired.

1369
01:03:42,208 --> 01:03:43,249
I just...

1370
01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:46,208
Yeah, I knew coaching
would be a great way back in.

1371
01:03:46,875 --> 01:03:48,749
I guess part of me
didn't want to accept

1372
01:03:48,750 --> 01:03:50,333
that I wasn't a player anymore.

1373
01:03:50,792 --> 01:03:53,416
You know, so much of my identity
was wrapped up in it and...

1374
01:03:53,417 --> 01:03:55,582
I get that. But I'm telling you,

1375
01:03:55,583 --> 01:03:58,166
coaching fills that void
for you.

1376
01:03:58,167 --> 01:03:59,832
It forces you to shift gears.

1377
01:03:59,833 --> 01:04:02,624
You stop using the phrase,
"Hey, back when I played..."

1378
01:04:02,625 --> 01:04:03,666
Right.

1379
01:04:03,667 --> 01:04:06,458
You learn
to make everyone better

1380
01:04:06,958 --> 01:04:09,374
without comparing them
to yourself.

1381
01:04:09,375 --> 01:04:11,374
Right. Amazing.

1382
01:04:11,375 --> 01:04:13,124
Is... Is it frustrating?

1383
01:04:13,125 --> 01:04:16,207
- Yes! Absolutely frustrating.
- Oh. Okay.

1384
01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:17,374
That's just a given.

1385
01:04:17,375 --> 01:04:19,041
I think it'll always
be that way.

1386
01:04:19,042 --> 01:04:22,291
But for me, I can't tell you
how gratifying it is

1387
01:04:22,292 --> 01:04:26,583
to be part of a sport as
it evolves, despite not playing.

1388
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:28,957
- Wow.
- That's what does it for me.

1389
01:04:28,958 --> 01:04:31,874
The best part, my three
daughters, they love it.

1390
01:04:31,875 --> 01:04:34,207
They actually
think their dad is cool.

1391
01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:37,249
Hey, how's Tracy?
What a beast she was.

1392
01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:38,166
She's good.

1393
01:04:38,167 --> 01:04:40,791
She's, uh, in Salt Lake,
doing her thing.

1394
01:04:40,792 --> 01:04:42,624
Oh, yeah. Is she skiing or...?

1395
01:04:42,625 --> 01:04:43,625
Polygamy.

1396
01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:47,249
Oh!

1397
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:49,707
Yeah, look. It threw us
for a loop. Don't get me wrong.

1398
01:04:49,708 --> 01:04:52,083
But... it's all worked out.

1399
01:04:52,417 --> 01:04:55,417
- I-I didn't know you'd split.
- Seven years now.

1400
01:04:56,125 --> 01:04:57,874
I have to admit, being single

1401
01:04:57,875 --> 01:04:59,750
in your mid-to-late-forties
is, uh...

1402
01:05:00,750 --> 01:05:02,791
What's the word here?
Interesting?

1403
01:05:03,750 --> 01:05:05,582
- Okay?
- Is that the word?

1404
01:05:05,583 --> 01:05:06,625
But...

1405
01:05:08,125 --> 01:05:10,332
I'd be lost without coaching.

1406
01:05:10,333 --> 01:05:11,875
It... It saved me.

1407
01:05:12,958 --> 01:05:14,749
So... All right.
Enough about me.

1408
01:05:14,750 --> 01:05:16,249
Alex. How's he doing?

1409
01:05:16,250 --> 01:05:18,124
- Two boys, right?
- Two boys.

1410
01:05:18,125 --> 01:05:20,042
- How are they?
- They are great.

1411
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:22,749
Well, adjusting, 'cause, uh,

1412
01:05:22,750 --> 01:05:24,707
Alex and I decided
to take a little break.

1413
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:26,042
Oh, no.

1414
01:05:26,875 --> 01:05:28,500
I'm sorry. I hadn't heard that.

1415
01:05:28,917 --> 01:05:30,667
Yeah. No, it's...

1416
01:05:31,625 --> 01:05:33,625
Wait, it's not a break.

1417
01:05:34,417 --> 01:05:36,458
We split. He moved out.

1418
01:05:37,792 --> 01:05:39,707
- Wow.
- Uh, it's over. Yeah.

1419
01:05:39,708 --> 01:05:41,167
Wow. Okay.

1420
01:05:41,833 --> 01:05:43,000
Yeah, it's actually good.

1421
01:05:44,208 --> 01:05:46,082
I gotta admit, I'm shocked.

1422
01:05:46,083 --> 01:05:48,625
You two just seemed like
a perfect fit to me.

1423
01:05:49,917 --> 01:05:53,041
Yeah. Me too, but, um...

1424
01:05:56,625 --> 01:05:57,958
I guess we just...

1425
01:06:00,208 --> 01:06:02,166
slowly grew away
from each other.

1426
01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:03,500
If that makes any sense.

1427
01:06:04,042 --> 01:06:05,083
I get that.

1428
01:06:06,208 --> 01:06:07,500
Jeez, Tess, I'm...

1429
01:06:08,833 --> 01:06:10,207
I'm glad I reached out.

1430
01:06:15,833 --> 01:06:16,832
Yeah.

1431
01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:19,333
Are you tired? 'Cause I'm not.

1432
01:06:20,042 --> 01:06:21,624
I'm not tired. Absolutely not.

1433
01:06:21,625 --> 01:06:22,874
My buddy says
there's a great place

1434
01:06:22,875 --> 01:06:24,374
right around the corner, actually.

1435
01:06:24,375 --> 01:06:27,707
Oh. Amazing. I'm gonna just...

1436
01:06:27,708 --> 01:06:29,348
- Yeah. Okay.
- Use the restroom and...

1437
01:06:29,792 --> 01:06:30,792
Be right back.

1438
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:47,250
Yeah.

1439
01:06:47,958 --> 01:06:49,499
Fuck it.

1440
01:06:51,583 --> 01:06:53,208
- All right. Following you.
- Okay.

1441
01:06:54,792 --> 01:06:55,666
Sounds fun.

1442
01:06:55,667 --> 01:06:58,082
No, I'm not gonna do it, but...

1443
01:06:58,083 --> 01:06:59,374
Absolutely not.

1444
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:05,832
- They letting you go up tonight?
- Yeah.

1445
01:07:05,833 --> 01:07:07,458
We'll see.
I'm a little bit late.

1446
01:07:08,542 --> 01:07:09,916
- Fuck. Cutting it close.
- Sorry.

1447
01:07:09,917 --> 01:07:11,832
I got held up. I'm sorry.

1448
01:07:13,167 --> 01:07:14,666
I was starting to think
you were bailing on me.

1449
01:07:14,667 --> 01:07:16,082
What? No, no, no. No.

1450
01:07:16,083 --> 01:07:17,332
- Whatever, I just...
- You want a drink?

1451
01:07:17,333 --> 01:07:18,666
- No, no, no. I'm good.
- Okay.

1452
01:07:18,667 --> 01:07:20,541
Oh, my God, I need a beer.

1453
01:07:22,708 --> 01:07:23,957
Big night.

1454
01:07:23,958 --> 01:07:25,499
- Big night tonight.
- Oh, my God.

1455
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:27,707
- You're gonna kill it.
- I know, I know.

1456
01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:29,542
Then we'll see.
I'll meet you up here.

1457
01:07:30,333 --> 01:07:31,893
I'll meet you back here
when we're done.

1458
01:07:38,625 --> 01:07:41,750
<i>I needed to know where
The river came out, come on.</i>

1459
01:07:42,333 --> 01:07:44,457
Uh, Sam Jay has the light.
You have two minutes.

1460
01:07:44,458 --> 01:07:45,625
Okay.

1461
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:48,291
You're gonna be great.

1462
01:08:03,375 --> 01:08:06,083
We can't just fuck and
make a kid. We can't do that.

1463
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:07,582
So it's like,
how we gonna do it?

1464
01:08:07,583 --> 01:08:09,916
Someone's gotta go buy nut
and I'm not buying nut.

1465
01:08:11,042 --> 01:08:12,624
I'm not.
I'm not goin' to the nut store,

1466
01:08:12,625 --> 01:08:13,582
ask nobody for no nut.

1467
01:08:13,583 --> 01:08:15,291
And she got upset
when I told her that.

1468
01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:16,916
She's, like, "You're an asshole.

1469
01:08:16,917 --> 01:08:19,207
We don't just have to buy a nut.
We can just adopt."

1470
01:08:19,208 --> 01:08:20,749
I'm like, "All right." Now
we're going to the baby store

1471
01:08:20,750 --> 01:08:23,041
and buying a whole one, so...

1472
01:08:23,042 --> 01:08:25,291
Hey, my name's been Sam Jay.
Thank you so much.

1473
01:08:28,875 --> 01:08:30,708
Yeah!

1474
01:08:31,917 --> 01:08:33,332
You guys,
give it up for Sam Jay!

1475
01:08:33,333 --> 01:08:34,875
I hope there's somebody else.

1476
01:08:35,417 --> 01:08:37,708
- She was great.
- She was great.

1477
01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,249
- This is so fun.
- It's cool, right?

1478
01:08:40,250 --> 01:08:41,166
Love it.

1479
01:08:41,167 --> 01:08:42,291
Next comedian
coming to the stage...

1480
01:08:42,292 --> 01:08:43,207
I'm glad we're here.

1481
01:08:43,208 --> 01:08:44,624
First time on this show.

1482
01:08:44,625 --> 01:08:46,957
Yeah, so I need you guys
to give him a lot of energy.

1483
01:08:46,958 --> 01:08:48,624
Start clapping,
make a lot of noise...

1484
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:49,916
All right.
Somebody else coming.

1485
01:08:49,917 --> 01:08:52,750
And give it up for Alex Novak!

1486
01:08:56,083 --> 01:08:57,374
How you doing?

1487
01:08:59,500 --> 01:09:02,249
Oh! How you guys doing tonight?

1488
01:09:02,250 --> 01:09:04,249
Yeah! Give it up for our host.

1489
01:09:04,250 --> 01:09:05,792
- Wait.
- He's doing great, huh?

1490
01:09:06,292 --> 01:09:08,207
What the fuck is happening?

1491
01:09:08,208 --> 01:09:09,499
Give it up for me.
I'm doing great!

1492
01:09:09,500 --> 01:09:11,458
I can promise you,
I did not know...

1493
01:09:11,708 --> 01:09:12,541
I don't...

1494
01:09:12,542 --> 01:09:13,499
My personal life's
in the shitter...

1495
01:09:13,500 --> 01:09:14,833
- Does he do...?
- No!

1496
01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:17,666
Yeah, I mean, I'm paying rent
on a shitty apartment

1497
01:09:17,667 --> 01:09:20,541
and mortgage on a house
I don't live in anymore.

1498
01:09:20,542 --> 01:09:22,916
You know? It's fine.
And one of my teeth hurts.

1499
01:09:22,917 --> 01:09:25,457
And I don't even know
where my dentist is.

1500
01:09:25,458 --> 01:09:27,332
My ex used to handle all that.

1501
01:09:27,333 --> 01:09:29,833
But other than that,
you know... Hey...

1502
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:32,791
I had sex with a woman.

1503
01:09:32,792 --> 01:09:35,249
Yeah, so like I said,
I'm doing great.

1504
01:09:37,125 --> 01:09:38,416
Yeah.

1505
01:09:39,875 --> 01:09:43,000
I never thought I'd get applause
for having sex with a woman.

1506
01:09:43,667 --> 01:09:46,207
Like, "You finally did it!"

1507
01:09:46,208 --> 01:09:47,333
Yeah!

1508
01:09:48,083 --> 01:09:52,167
Uh, yeah. No, I had sex
with a... with a woman, um...

1509
01:09:52,875 --> 01:09:55,499
after, you know, being married
for a number of years.

1510
01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:57,583
And... and it was...

1511
01:09:58,417 --> 01:09:59,832
scary.

1512
01:09:59,833 --> 01:10:00,749
Yeah.

1513
01:10:00,750 --> 01:10:03,707
But at least
I was not very good at it.

1514
01:10:05,500 --> 01:10:09,416
I think that after... I think
after 20 years of marriage,

1515
01:10:09,417 --> 01:10:12,999
you know, you just get used to
doing things a certain way.

1516
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,041
You know what I mean?
Like, sex with your wi...

1517
01:10:15,042 --> 01:10:16,916
It's... It's fine.
It was great with my...

1518
01:10:16,917 --> 01:10:19,416
It's like, you know
when you go to an Airbnb,

1519
01:10:19,417 --> 01:10:22,999
and you go into the kitchen, and
it kind of looks the same, like,

1520
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,041
but it's just
a little bit different?

1521
01:10:25,042 --> 01:10:27,916
Like, certain spoons
are in different drawers?

1522
01:10:27,917 --> 01:10:29,499
So you're kind of
looking around,

1523
01:10:29,500 --> 01:10:31,166
you're opening stuff up,
and you're like...

1524
01:10:31,167 --> 01:10:33,249
And I was doing that
on a human body.

1525
01:10:34,542 --> 01:10:37,457
I don't know, I feel like
sex now has really changed

1526
01:10:37,458 --> 01:10:41,582
since back when
I was out there in the game 20...

1527
01:10:41,583 --> 01:10:43,791
I never cheated on my wife,
so this is the first...

1528
01:10:43,792 --> 01:10:45,374
And it feels like now...

1529
01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:46,332
Are you sure
you don't want to leave?

1530
01:10:46,333 --> 01:10:47,249
There are so many noises

1531
01:10:47,250 --> 01:10:48,207
- that she was making.
- No.

1532
01:10:48,208 --> 01:10:49,957
- So animalistic.
- I don't want to go anywhere.

1533
01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:51,999
And it just felt like
two apes fucking.

1534
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,166
Obviously,
apes do not make love, right?

1535
01:10:54,167 --> 01:10:56,332
Nobody imagines
that apes are like this,

1536
01:10:56,333 --> 01:10:58,082
staring in
each other's eyes, saying,

1537
01:10:58,083 --> 01:11:01,374
"I love you. And
let's come at the same time."

1538
01:11:01,375 --> 01:11:03,124
Apes don't do that shit.

1539
01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:06,374
Apes are doing it, fucking,
you know, dog-style.

1540
01:11:06,375 --> 01:11:08,916
Or ape-style.
Whatever the fuck it is.

1541
01:11:08,917 --> 01:11:11,499
I don't know.

1542
01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:13,332
I gotta tell you,
the whole experience,

1543
01:11:13,333 --> 01:11:15,249
to be honest,
made me miss my wife.

1544
01:11:15,250 --> 01:11:16,958
It really did. Yeah.

1545
01:11:17,542 --> 01:11:21,333
Which was, um,
surprising because...

1546
01:11:22,083 --> 01:11:23,374
we had a lot of fights.

1547
01:11:23,375 --> 01:11:25,625
Listen... And, um...

1548
01:11:26,292 --> 01:11:29,333
And I actually kind of ended up
missing some of our fights, too.

1549
01:11:30,167 --> 01:11:32,583
Yeah, they were...
Our fights were...

1550
01:11:32,917 --> 01:11:33,917
Uh...

1551
01:11:34,458 --> 01:11:36,332
psychological?

1552
01:11:36,333 --> 01:11:38,573
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I mean by that?

1553
01:11:39,417 --> 01:11:42,041
All the dudes know what I mean.

1554
01:11:42,042 --> 01:11:43,832
They're like,
"Yeah. Every interaction

1555
01:11:43,833 --> 01:11:46,333
is a fucking
psychological minefield."

1556
01:11:47,208 --> 01:11:48,999
You know when your wife
or your partner

1557
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:50,791
gets really, really quiet,

1558
01:11:50,792 --> 01:11:53,375
and now you gotta
guess what's wrong?

1559
01:11:53,792 --> 01:11:57,791
So, you have to ask
a blanket, like, question.

1560
01:11:57,792 --> 01:11:59,124
Keep it really gener...

1561
01:11:59,125 --> 01:12:02,499
I remember one time,
my ex-wife and I were driving,

1562
01:12:02,500 --> 01:12:04,167
coming home
from a friend's place.

1563
01:12:05,042 --> 01:12:07,625
And she is so quiet.

1564
01:12:08,542 --> 01:12:10,166
She's so quiet, like...

1565
01:12:10,167 --> 01:12:11,957
Do you remember <i>Jacob's Ladder?</i>

1566
01:12:13,042 --> 01:12:14,666
It was like that. Right?

1567
01:12:14,667 --> 01:12:17,124
I'm sort of dating myself
a little bit, but it was...

1568
01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:20,457
It was like I was questioning
my own existence on the planet,

1569
01:12:20,458 --> 01:12:21,541
it was so quiet.

1570
01:12:21,542 --> 01:12:23,832
Just the two of us, in the car,

1571
01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:27,625
and I'm so scared
of what she's gonna say.

1572
01:12:28,333 --> 01:12:30,207
So I just go...

1573
01:12:30,208 --> 01:12:31,750
I muster up the courage.

1574
01:12:33,833 --> 01:12:35,291
"Honey, are you mad at me?"

1575
01:12:37,667 --> 01:12:38,957
And she looks at me
and she goes,

1576
01:12:38,958 --> 01:12:43,416
"You know, sometimes I just
wish that you'd talk to me

1577
01:12:43,417 --> 01:12:45,666
the same way that you talk
to your friends."

1578
01:12:47,375 --> 01:12:48,875
And I go, "Okay."

1579
01:12:52,083 --> 01:12:54,124
"Dude,
my wife is driving me crazy."

1580
01:12:57,250 --> 01:12:58,707
Awesome.
You guys have been so great.

1581
01:12:58,708 --> 01:13:00,874
Thanks so much.
I've been Alex Novak.

1582
01:13:00,875 --> 01:13:02,499
All right, guys, thanks so much.
Good night.

1583
01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:03,666
Let's go.

1584
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:10,124
You guys,
give it up for Alex Novak!

1585
01:13:10,125 --> 01:13:12,707
Oh, my God!
Alex, that was fantastic!

1586
01:13:12,708 --> 01:13:14,374
Yes! You were so good!

1587
01:13:14,375 --> 01:13:15,791
Hey, can I get some water, please?

1588
01:13:15,792 --> 01:13:17,207
Absolutely, man. Yeah.

1589
01:13:17,208 --> 01:13:18,999
- Yeah.
- This is Laird. Sorry.

1590
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:20,791
I'm Nina. Nice to meet you.
Good to see you.

1591
01:13:20,792 --> 01:13:22,291
Good to... Yeah, we're gonna...

1592
01:13:22,292 --> 01:13:24,125
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I get it.

1593
01:13:24,625 --> 01:13:25,624
- It's a lot.
- All right.

1594
01:13:25,625 --> 01:13:27,291
You guys ready for this
next comedian? Say, "Hell yeah."

1595
01:13:27,292 --> 01:13:29,249
Hell yeah!

1596
01:13:29,250 --> 01:13:30,499
Start clapping right now.

1597
01:13:30,500 --> 01:13:35,707
Give it up right now
for the legend, Mr. Dave Attell!

1598
01:13:38,625 --> 01:13:40,416
Wow! What a night!

1599
01:13:40,417 --> 01:13:42,582
- Hey! How was it?
- It was so good.

1600
01:13:42,583 --> 01:13:43,624
- Was it good?
- I'm so proud of you.

1601
01:13:43,625 --> 01:13:45,791
- I just opened for Dave Attell!
- You ballsy motherfucker.

1602
01:13:45,792 --> 01:13:47,874
Yeah, you just did that set
in front of your wife.

1603
01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:49,541
- I respect that.
- What are you mean?

1604
01:13:49,542 --> 01:13:50,874
Tess is here with Laird.
The tall...

1605
01:13:50,875 --> 01:13:52,416
What do you mean, Tess?
Tess is here now?

1606
01:13:52,417 --> 01:13:53,332
What are you talking about?
Where?

1607
01:13:53,333 --> 01:13:54,249
Yeah, just saw them.
They went outside.

1608
01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:55,166
Did you not invite them?

1609
01:13:55,167 --> 01:13:56,291
No, I didn't
fucking invite them!

1610
01:13:56,292 --> 01:13:57,541
Jesus Christ.

1611
01:14:00,792 --> 01:14:03,374
- Holy shit. Okay.
- 'Cause I said so.

1612
01:14:03,375 --> 01:14:06,082
- Take it easy there, bruh.
- Whoa!

1613
01:14:06,083 --> 01:14:07,875
- What?
- You found a sitter?

1614
01:14:08,208 --> 01:14:10,207
No, I got them working
at the falafel place right here.

1615
01:14:10,208 --> 01:14:11,541
They're at your folks' place?

1616
01:14:11,542 --> 01:14:12,542
Yeah.

1617
01:14:13,625 --> 01:14:15,791
- What the fuck are you...?
- What the fuck?

1618
01:14:15,792 --> 01:14:17,457
What the fuck, me?
What the fuck are...?

1619
01:14:17,458 --> 01:14:18,916
You've been moving on, huh?

1620
01:14:18,917 --> 01:14:21,374
Me, moving on?
You show up with fucking Laird?

1621
01:14:21,375 --> 01:14:22,707
Who I just said goodbye to.

1622
01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:23,749
Okay, but Laird,
of all fucking people.

1623
01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:24,666
What the fuck do you care?

1624
01:14:24,667 --> 01:14:25,582
How long have you
been fucking him?

1625
01:14:25,583 --> 01:14:26,499
For years.

1626
01:14:26,500 --> 01:14:27,708
- No.
- No.

1627
01:14:28,042 --> 01:14:29,458
Oh, fuck.

1628
01:14:30,125 --> 01:14:31,666
How long you been doing...

1629
01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:33,291
- stand-up comedy?
- No, I only did that one time.

1630
01:14:33,292 --> 01:14:35,042
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh.

1631
01:14:35,542 --> 01:14:36,833
Mmm.

1632
01:14:39,958 --> 01:14:41,042
Sorry, I thought you...

1633
01:14:42,292 --> 01:14:44,125
Yeah, stand-up
I've been doing for a while.

1634
01:14:46,458 --> 01:14:48,166
So I'm the only one
who doesn't know you do this?

1635
01:14:48,167 --> 01:14:49,958
Actually, tonight
was kind of a big night.

1636
01:14:51,375 --> 01:14:54,333
I mean, it's obviously
bigger now that...

1637
01:14:55,917 --> 01:14:57,666
I usually only do
open mic nights,

1638
01:14:57,667 --> 01:14:59,267
and they're, like,
half the crowd, and...

1639
01:15:00,333 --> 01:15:01,457
I don't know
why I never told you.

1640
01:15:01,458 --> 01:15:02,957
I haven't even really
told myself

1641
01:15:02,958 --> 01:15:04,417
that it's becoming a thing,
you know?

1642
01:15:07,208 --> 01:15:08,375
It's hot.

1643
01:15:09,875 --> 01:15:10,875
Really?

1644
01:15:13,083 --> 01:15:14,458
Give me a drag.

1645
01:15:27,667 --> 01:15:29,208
Mmm.

1646
01:15:32,375 --> 01:15:33,999
Hey, will you pass me my smokes?

1647
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:35,360
I think they're
on the table there.

1648
01:15:35,958 --> 01:15:38,666
If you hit the light.
The button's right on the...

1649
01:15:38,667 --> 01:15:39,792
You got it.

1650
01:15:40,542 --> 01:15:41,957
I think the lighter's there
too, right?

1651
01:15:41,958 --> 01:15:42,958
Yeah.

1652
01:15:43,167 --> 01:15:44,167
Thanks.

1653
01:15:51,500 --> 01:15:53,292
What's with all the smoking?

1654
01:15:54,542 --> 01:15:56,582
I feel like we're
in our twenties again.

1655
01:15:56,583 --> 01:15:58,667
Mmm.

1656
01:16:00,083 --> 01:16:01,292
Mmm.

1657
01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:06,957
I'm just, you know...

1658
01:16:06,958 --> 01:16:09,291
allowing myself the grace to...

1659
01:16:09,292 --> 01:16:11,833
- Marilyn?
- Yeah.

1660
01:16:14,125 --> 01:16:16,333
Let's talk about Marilyn.

1661
01:16:17,458 --> 01:16:19,000
Sorry.

1662
01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:26,292
What the absolute fuck?

1663
01:16:27,375 --> 01:16:28,916
Oh, my God.

1664
01:16:28,917 --> 01:16:31,417
Look, I think we're just gracing
the shit out of each other.

1665
01:16:31,958 --> 01:16:33,958
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

1666
01:16:34,625 --> 01:16:35,832
Sorry.

1667
01:16:35,833 --> 01:16:38,457
I promise
I won't bring my mom up again.

1668
01:16:40,042 --> 01:16:42,708
No, it's hot. No.

1669
01:16:46,250 --> 01:16:47,250
Oh.

1670
01:16:48,333 --> 01:16:49,542
Hey.

1671
01:16:53,292 --> 01:16:54,999
What about the boys?

1672
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:56,917
Like, we can't tell anybody.

1673
01:16:58,542 --> 01:17:00,292
- No. No, of course.
- Right?

1674
01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:02,208
We can't confuse them.

1675
01:17:03,208 --> 01:17:06,417
'Cause, I mean, yeah.
This is confusing.

1676
01:17:07,417 --> 01:17:08,541
Yeah. No.

1677
01:17:08,542 --> 01:17:10,792
Of course. Yeah, it is.
It is confusing.

1678
01:17:13,875 --> 01:17:15,167
I'm sleeping over.

1679
01:17:16,292 --> 01:17:17,833
- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah.

1680
01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:20,666
Uh, there's, like, boxers
and T-shirts

1681
01:17:20,667 --> 01:17:21,999
in that top drawer there.

1682
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:23,375
- Here?
- Yeah.

1683
01:17:24,292 --> 01:17:25,957
I feel shaky.

1684
01:17:27,708 --> 01:17:28,708
Fuck.

1685
01:17:38,917 --> 01:17:41,250
I can't believe
you fucked somebody!

1686
01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:53,833
Oh, my God.

1687
01:17:55,917 --> 01:17:59,166
Did you fuck her right here?
In front of our armoire?

1688
01:17:59,167 --> 01:18:02,417
Come on. I never would have
done it in front of our armoire.

1689
01:18:03,292 --> 01:18:05,499
Do... Do you know how
sick and twisted that'd be

1690
01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:07,457
if I did it
in front of the armoire?

1691
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,458
That was fucking insane.

1692
01:18:19,583 --> 01:18:20,625
Mmm.

1693
01:18:22,958 --> 01:18:24,500
You kept looking at me.

1694
01:18:26,792 --> 01:18:28,125
I always do.

1695
01:18:29,625 --> 01:18:31,917
Have you upped your parenting
since we split?

1696
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,167
Out of necessity.

1697
01:18:34,625 --> 01:18:36,917
Well, yeah, that.
But, I mean, like...

1698
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:39,500
Do you find that you'll, like...

1699
01:18:40,917 --> 01:18:42,458
Do you find that you'll, like...

1700
01:18:43,958 --> 01:18:45,278
I don't know. You'll... You'll...

1701
01:18:45,875 --> 01:18:48,457
get off your phone
if the boys are around,

1702
01:18:48,458 --> 01:18:53,333
thinking that maybe they'll
see you on it less than me?

1703
01:18:54,375 --> 01:18:55,957
Just, like, you know...

1704
01:18:55,958 --> 01:18:58,207
being more attentive
to be better than me?

1705
01:18:58,208 --> 01:19:01,833
To, like...
to beat me at parenting?

1706
01:19:02,458 --> 01:19:04,208
Yeah. But I always do that.

1707
01:19:05,333 --> 01:19:07,332
Yeah, but, I mean,
isn't that ridiculous?

1708
01:19:07,333 --> 01:19:08,417
Yeah.

1709
01:19:08,792 --> 01:19:10,250
But I always want to win.

1710
01:19:11,375 --> 01:19:14,208
Yeah, of course.

1711
01:19:21,125 --> 01:19:22,125
Fuck.

1712
01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:26,124
Yeah. I knew you'd say that.

1713
01:19:27,292 --> 01:19:29,583
Unbelievable.
The passive aggressive.

1714
01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:33,374
My mom said
that she didn't want to, uh,

1715
01:19:33,375 --> 01:19:36,250
meddle in-in my marriage.

1716
01:19:37,625 --> 01:19:39,708
Which is exactly
what meddlers say...

1717
01:19:40,750 --> 01:19:42,542
before they meddle
in your marriage.

1718
01:19:43,792 --> 01:19:46,333
Uh... My kids, um...

1719
01:19:47,417 --> 01:19:49,124
My kids though, I know...

1720
01:19:49,125 --> 01:19:52,166
They'd probably be happy to know
that we're together. You know?

1721
01:19:52,167 --> 01:19:53,957
I mean,
I think this would make them...

1722
01:19:53,958 --> 01:19:55,916
But we cannot tell 'em.

1723
01:19:55,917 --> 01:20:00,542
Because what if the wheels
come off this particular bus?

1724
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:03,417
That's what I'm worried about.

1725
01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:09,583
But until then, I'm just
enjoying this wild ride...

1726
01:20:10,792 --> 01:20:11,833
of...

1727
01:20:14,250 --> 01:20:17,833
having an affair
with my ex-wife.

1728
01:20:19,500 --> 01:20:20,957
Hey, man,
just came down on my break.

1729
01:20:20,958 --> 01:20:23,250
I wanted to watch your act.
It's good. Getting better.

1730
01:20:23,625 --> 01:20:25,500
- Come on. One more time!
- Thanks, man.

1731
01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:26,582
Excuse me.

1732
01:20:26,583 --> 01:20:28,374
Well, well, well.

1733
01:20:28,375 --> 01:20:31,542
I heard you crushed the other
night with some new material.

1734
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:34,291
You smoked my weed
and you owe me money.

1735
01:20:34,292 --> 01:20:36,333
Just gonna go out
on a limb and say I think...

1736
01:20:36,458 --> 01:20:37,291
Novak, let me get it straight.

1737
01:20:37,292 --> 01:20:41,207
So, your main is your side
and your side is the main.

1738
01:20:41,208 --> 01:20:42,207
The new main.

1739
01:20:42,208 --> 01:20:43,249
- The new main.
- Yeah.

1740
01:20:43,250 --> 01:20:44,332
That's like going to Popeyes

1741
01:20:44,333 --> 01:20:45,624
and gettin' chicken
and chicken on the side.

1742
01:20:45,625 --> 01:20:47,875
"Let me get wings
with a side of wings."

1743
01:20:48,250 --> 01:20:50,416
My grandma used to say
gettin' back with a ex

1744
01:20:50,417 --> 01:20:52,937
is like taking a shit and trying
to put it back in your asshole.

1745
01:20:53,708 --> 01:20:55,707
- Fuck you guys.
- Just let go!

1746
01:20:55,708 --> 01:20:56,791
Fuck you too, Novak!

1747
01:20:56,792 --> 01:20:58,458
Hey, love you, young Novak.

1748
01:20:59,917 --> 01:21:02,041
Yeah. Here we go!
Ready? Cover, cover!

1749
01:21:02,042 --> 01:21:03,999
Wait, you aced five.

1750
01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:06,166
I mean, she could not pass
the float serve.

1751
01:21:06,167 --> 01:21:07,624
And our hitter was on fire, too.

1752
01:21:07,625 --> 01:21:09,542
Well, you had
that great last swing.

1753
01:21:17,833 --> 01:21:19,125
You're nuts!

1754
01:21:22,167 --> 01:21:23,958
- What are you doing?
- What?

1755
01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:28,791
You drove all this way from
the city just to drive me home?

1756
01:21:28,792 --> 01:21:30,958
It's a 47-minute drive.
It's not a big deal.

1757
01:21:34,458 --> 01:21:35,625
This is scary.

1758
01:21:36,417 --> 01:21:38,083
But fuck, it's fun.

1759
01:21:39,750 --> 01:21:40,792
Yeah.

1760
01:21:44,625 --> 01:21:45,749
- Is that Mom?
- Is that Mom?

1761
01:21:45,750 --> 01:21:47,749
- Yeah.
- Whoa! That's cool.

1762
01:21:47,750 --> 01:21:48,749
What do you think?

1763
01:21:48,750 --> 01:21:49,666
Pretty cool.

1764
01:21:49,667 --> 01:21:50,792
That's really cool, yeah.

1765
01:21:54,333 --> 01:21:55,707
Is that when
she was in the Olympics?

1766
01:21:55,708 --> 01:21:58,083
Yeah. What do you think?
It's pretty awesome right?

1767
01:21:58,625 --> 01:21:59,625
- Yeah.
- Hi, Mom.

1768
01:22:19,542 --> 01:22:20,958
Oh, shit.

1769
01:22:22,292 --> 01:22:23,416
Shit.

1770
01:22:25,458 --> 01:22:27,667
Just like every year.
There he is.

1771
01:22:27,792 --> 01:22:30,707
Oh!

1772
01:22:30,708 --> 01:22:32,874
I thought you guys
didn't make it.

1773
01:22:32,875 --> 01:22:34,499
I was looking at all the...

1774
01:22:34,500 --> 01:22:36,457
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, hey, hey!

1775
01:22:36,458 --> 01:22:40,124
Somebody actually fell asleep on
my shoulder while I was there.

1776
01:22:40,125 --> 01:22:41,707
- Hey.
- Hey. Can I give you a hand?

1777
01:22:41,708 --> 01:22:43,166
No, man, I got these.
They're light.

1778
01:22:43,167 --> 01:22:44,082
How are you?

1779
01:22:44,083 --> 01:22:45,916
- I'm good. How are you doing?
- Great.

1780
01:22:47,542 --> 01:22:49,957
- You like my 'stache?
- Yeah. What's with the look?

1781
01:22:49,958 --> 01:22:51,582
The look? I've got a...

1782
01:22:51,583 --> 01:22:54,624
I got a fourth callback
of a ranch hand

1783
01:22:54,625 --> 01:22:56,124
in a western TV series.

1784
01:22:56,125 --> 01:22:57,082
- What? No!
- Good.

1785
01:22:57,083 --> 01:22:58,416
- Yeah.
- It's a strong 'stache.

1786
01:22:58,417 --> 01:23:00,749
- Yeah, yeah. I'm just grateful.
- Nice.

1787
01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:02,124
- Here.
- Thanks, man.

1788
01:23:02,125 --> 01:23:03,250
Shotgun!

1789
01:23:05,542 --> 01:23:06,624
Yeah, I know where it is.

1790
01:23:06,625 --> 01:23:08,957
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Jesus. Wow.

1791
01:23:08,958 --> 01:23:10,416
I'm just excited.
What do you want me to say?

1792
01:23:10,417 --> 01:23:11,582
- Yeah, all right.
- Wow, thrilling.

1793
01:23:11,583 --> 01:23:13,500
What do you know?

1794
01:23:14,125 --> 01:23:15,125
Jesus.

1795
01:23:18,625 --> 01:23:19,625
Where's she at?

1796
01:23:20,792 --> 01:23:22,499
Hey!
Welcome to Oyster Bay!

1797
01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:24,291
- Hey!
- Whoo!

1798
01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:26,707
My God.

1799
01:23:26,708 --> 01:23:27,916
I can't believe
it's been a year already.

1800
01:23:27,917 --> 01:23:29,374
- I know.
- Did that Hopkins thing.

1801
01:23:29,375 --> 01:23:30,957
- You've been working hard.
- Learn it 250 times.

1802
01:23:30,958 --> 01:23:32,499
You're in the attic, of course.

1803
01:23:32,500 --> 01:23:33,832
- Great.
- I'm so happy to be back here.

1804
01:23:33,833 --> 01:23:35,957
Geoffrey, Stephen,
you guys are in the primary.

1805
01:23:35,958 --> 01:23:37,541
Game night tonight still?

1806
01:23:37,542 --> 01:23:38,832
- Are we still doing that?
- Yeah.

1807
01:23:38,833 --> 01:23:40,457
- For sure.
- What are we playing?

1808
01:23:40,458 --> 01:23:41,916
Alex, you want
something to drink?

1809
01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,957
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Same thing we play every year.

1810
01:23:44,083 --> 01:23:46,124
- Why don't we play...
- Same thing we...

1811
01:23:46,125 --> 01:23:47,166
Why don't we do Bananagrams?

1812
01:23:47,167 --> 01:23:48,166
- I got all the...
- What?

1813
01:23:48,167 --> 01:23:49,457
- What did you say?
- Are you unhappy wi...

1814
01:23:49,458 --> 01:23:51,666
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We know what game we're playing.

1815
01:23:52,625 --> 01:23:54,457
I'm just saying, why
don't we start with Bananagrams?

1816
01:23:54,458 --> 01:23:55,374
No!

1817
01:23:55,375 --> 01:23:56,457
Why would we change it?

1818
01:23:56,458 --> 01:23:57,707
What are you talking about?

1819
01:23:57,708 --> 01:23:59,541
It's the best game in the...
It's why we come here.

1820
01:23:59,542 --> 01:24:00,457
Okay.

1821
01:24:00,458 --> 01:24:01,750
Hey, hey, hey...

1822
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,958
Hey guys, wait,
don't start without me.

1823
01:24:18,375 --> 01:24:19,791
Come on, y'all.

1824
01:24:19,792 --> 01:24:21,541
None of this fighting shit.
Come on.

1825
01:24:21,542 --> 01:24:23,541
Fun weekend. Let's go.
Come on, honey.

1826
01:24:23,542 --> 01:24:24,749
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1827
01:24:24,750 --> 01:24:26,166
- Remember what I said.
- I know.

1828
01:24:26,167 --> 01:24:27,832
- Jesus.
- Did they start without us?

1829
01:24:27,833 --> 01:24:29,624
- No. I told them not to.
- Okay.

1830
01:24:29,625 --> 01:24:31,291
- Yeah, so, it's our time to ask.
- All right.

1831
01:24:31,292 --> 01:24:32,374
Obviously I meant...

1832
01:24:32,375 --> 01:24:33,499
Are you sure? Okay.

1833
01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:35,041
Look, I have four left.

1834
01:24:35,042 --> 01:24:36,291
Well, you think.

1835
01:24:36,292 --> 01:24:37,732
Wait, wait.
I can't see. I can't see.

1836
01:24:38,167 --> 01:24:40,416
I... Ho...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1837
01:24:40,417 --> 01:24:42,291
- Mm-mmm.
- Hold on.

1838
01:24:42,292 --> 01:24:43,707
God, I'd love to know
what this process is.

1839
01:24:43,708 --> 01:24:46,457
Second floor... I know! Gosh!

1840
01:24:46,458 --> 01:24:48,416
I know. What?

1841
01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:50,874
- Does this person...
- Guys, we gotta get serious now.

1842
01:24:50,875 --> 01:24:53,082
Does your person hold on
to library books

1843
01:24:53,083 --> 01:24:54,207
past their due date?

1844
01:24:54,208 --> 01:24:55,207
Yes!

1845
01:24:55,208 --> 01:24:56,582
- That's a good one!
- Yes, yes.

1846
01:24:56,583 --> 01:24:58,249
- No, no, no. No.
- No. That's a librarian.

1847
01:24:58,250 --> 01:24:59,207
- Yeah.
- Keep her up.

1848
01:24:59,208 --> 01:25:00,291
- No.
- You know, every year,

1849
01:25:00,292 --> 01:25:01,749
- this does not end well.
- No.

1850
01:25:01,750 --> 01:25:03,499
- No. Does not keep it past the...
- These two.

1851
01:25:03,500 --> 01:25:04,707
This person does not.

1852
01:25:04,708 --> 01:25:06,082
No. It's this person does.

1853
01:25:06,083 --> 01:25:07,082
It's this person,
it's this person.

1854
01:25:07,083 --> 01:25:08,166
Okay, we're ready to
make a guess.

1855
01:25:08,167 --> 01:25:09,250
Okay. Is your person...

1856
01:25:09,417 --> 01:25:10,417
- Joan?
- Joan.

1857
01:25:10,583 --> 01:25:12,999
Joan! Oh my God!

1858
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:15,082
Yes! Yeah!

1859
01:25:15,083 --> 01:25:16,999
How good was that!

1860
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:18,500
How good was that!

1861
01:25:21,375 --> 01:25:22,375
Hey.

1862
01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:25,625
- Hey, man.
- What are you doing?

1863
01:25:27,458 --> 01:25:29,000
Just having a smoke.

1864
01:25:31,542 --> 01:25:33,333
- Sit with you?
- Yeah.

1865
01:25:36,375 --> 01:25:37,542
Starting to rain.

1866
01:25:44,167 --> 01:25:45,374
Not gonna ask me
what I was doing

1867
01:25:45,375 --> 01:25:46,957
coming out
of the fucking darkness?

1868
01:25:46,958 --> 01:25:49,917
Sorry, man. What were you doing?

1869
01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:55,708
I just want to say...

1870
01:25:56,917 --> 01:25:58,417
I gotta hand it to you.

1871
01:25:59,833 --> 01:26:02,292
- You do?
- Yeah. You look happy.

1872
01:26:04,458 --> 01:26:07,958
Happier than
you've been in a... long time.

1873
01:26:10,708 --> 01:26:11,708
Okay.

1874
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:14,083
If anything,
you're an inspiration.

1875
01:26:15,083 --> 01:26:16,916
I mean, you're proof positive
that it's never too late

1876
01:26:16,917 --> 01:26:19,583
for a man of a certain age to
turn his life around, you know?

1877
01:26:20,333 --> 01:26:21,333
Make a fresh start.

1878
01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:24,583
Find out who you really are.

1879
01:26:26,583 --> 01:26:27,624
Thank you, man.

1880
01:26:27,625 --> 01:26:28,582
Right.

1881
01:26:28,583 --> 01:26:31,333
Which is why I'm gonna
ask Christine for a divorce.

1882
01:26:31,708 --> 01:26:32,791
What?

1883
01:26:32,792 --> 01:26:33,792
Yeah.

1884
01:26:34,250 --> 01:26:35,500
No. I hear ya.

1885
01:26:36,333 --> 01:26:38,000
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna take control.

1886
01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:40,667
No, what are you
talking about, man?

1887
01:26:40,958 --> 01:26:42,249
I just told you.
You inspired me.

1888
01:26:42,250 --> 01:26:43,832
No, no, no.
I didn't inspire you...

1889
01:26:43,833 --> 01:26:45,208
Yeah. You did.

1890
01:26:48,375 --> 01:26:49,832
I've been unhappy
for such a long time.

1891
01:26:49,833 --> 01:26:51,791
I was just too chicken-shit
to ever do anything about it.

1892
01:26:51,792 --> 01:26:53,166
No. Don't do this, man.

1893
01:26:53,167 --> 01:26:54,208
- Don't do it.
- Why not?

1894
01:26:55,042 --> 01:26:56,166
Our son's going to college.

1895
01:26:56,167 --> 01:26:59,042
If I get this job,
it shoots in Texas.

1896
01:27:00,042 --> 01:27:01,957
I've never auditioned
for anything outside the city

1897
01:27:01,958 --> 01:27:03,832
'cause I never wanted
to be away from Jay.

1898
01:27:03,833 --> 01:27:05,083
That's over.

1899
01:27:06,625 --> 01:27:07,917
I want to be happy.

1900
01:27:08,417 --> 01:27:10,124
Okay, that's fine.
But that doesn't mean that you...

1901
01:27:10,125 --> 01:27:12,792
- Don't you want me to be happy?
- No, of course I do, man.

1902
01:27:13,167 --> 01:27:14,625
Look...

1903
01:27:16,458 --> 01:27:18,250
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't.

1904
01:27:25,417 --> 01:27:28,125
'Stache feels right. Feels good.

1905
01:27:34,500 --> 01:27:37,792
- Sorry. Kinda small, right?
- Hmm.

1906
01:27:41,792 --> 01:27:43,000
You need more blankets?

1907
01:27:43,542 --> 01:27:44,874
- No. I think I'm...
- Are you sure?

1908
01:27:44,875 --> 01:27:46,249
This one's kinda old.

1909
01:27:46,250 --> 01:27:48,291
No, they seem,
they seem okay. That's...

1910
01:27:48,292 --> 01:27:49,749
- Okay. Any more pillows?
- I'm good.

1911
01:27:49,750 --> 01:27:50,833
Anything?

1912
01:27:51,250 --> 01:27:52,499
No, this is great. Thank you.

1913
01:27:52,500 --> 01:27:55,042
Sorry. I know it's not
the biggest couch in the world.

1914
01:27:55,958 --> 01:27:57,667
It's gonna be fine. Thank you.

1915
01:27:58,625 --> 01:27:59,958
You want to know my secret?

1916
01:28:02,750 --> 01:28:03,750
Do I?

1917
01:28:04,042 --> 01:28:05,042
Yeah.

1918
01:28:06,250 --> 01:28:08,458
The real reason I despise you.

1919
01:28:10,792 --> 01:28:11,875
Yeah, I guess.

1920
01:28:14,083 --> 01:28:16,000
It's because you remind me
of myself.

1921
01:28:18,042 --> 01:28:19,792
Surprise.

1922
01:28:20,917 --> 01:28:23,582
And watching you
wither away all these years

1923
01:28:23,583 --> 01:28:27,041
just keeps reminding me
of how hot you used to be.

1924
01:28:27,042 --> 01:28:28,791
How funny you were.

1925
01:28:28,792 --> 01:28:30,167
Just, magnetic.

1926
01:28:32,833 --> 01:28:34,499
I was even attracted to you
back in the day.

1927
01:28:34,500 --> 01:28:36,792
And I'm not hitting on you,
I'm just making a point.

1928
01:28:38,292 --> 01:28:40,207
Watching you disappear
in front of my eyes

1929
01:28:40,208 --> 01:28:44,625
has just been
this fucking reminder to me.

1930
01:28:46,458 --> 01:28:48,125
That marriage
doesn't fucking work.

1931
01:28:49,958 --> 01:28:51,708
I mean, it didn't work
for my parents.

1932
01:28:52,708 --> 01:28:55,166
I literally watched it
kill them.

1933
01:28:55,167 --> 01:28:56,499
And then it killed you.

1934
01:28:56,500 --> 01:28:59,000
And now it's doing
the same thing to me.

1935
01:29:01,292 --> 01:29:04,791
And I wake up every day,

1936
01:29:04,792 --> 01:29:08,292
and the first thing I feel
is anger.

1937
01:29:09,875 --> 01:29:12,375
I'm just fucking angry
all the time.

1938
01:29:13,792 --> 01:29:15,666
So, yes, when I see you,
I see me.

1939
01:29:15,667 --> 01:29:17,833
And I just fucking lash out,
you know?

1940
01:29:20,458 --> 01:29:22,292
I'll deny
we ever had this conversation.

1941
01:29:23,750 --> 01:29:24,750
Okay.

1942
01:29:26,542 --> 01:29:27,874
But I'm glad we talked.

1943
01:29:27,875 --> 01:29:29,583
It's like we needed it, maybe?

1944
01:29:31,417 --> 01:29:32,917
Yeah. Get some sleep.

1945
01:30:19,125 --> 01:30:23,791
<i>Amazing grace.</i>

1946
01:30:23,792 --> 01:30:24,875
Morning.

1947
01:30:25,458 --> 01:30:30,500
<i>How sweet the sound.</i>

1948
01:30:32,667 --> 01:30:38,083
<i>That saved a wretch.</i>

1949
01:30:38,542 --> 01:30:42,833
<i>Like me.</i>

1950
01:30:43,583 --> 01:30:49,167
<i>I once was lost.</i>

1951
01:30:49,792 --> 01:30:55,332
<i>But now am found.</i>

1952
01:30:55,333 --> 01:30:57,999
<i>Was blind.</i>

1953
01:30:58,000 --> 01:31:03,749
<i>But now I see.</i>

1954
01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:06,791
Ooh.

1955
01:31:06,792 --> 01:31:12,332
<i>Amazing grace.</i>

1956
01:31:12,333 --> 01:31:17,750
<i>How sweet the sound.</i>

1957
01:31:18,333 --> 01:31:23,832
<i>That saved a wretch.</i>

1958
01:31:23,833 --> 01:31:28,250
<i>Like me.</i>

1959
01:31:30,000 --> 01:31:30,957
How'd you sleep?

1960
01:31:30,958 --> 01:31:32,708
- Amazing.
- Yeah?

1961
01:31:34,125 --> 01:31:35,957
- Really good.
- Did you?

1962
01:31:35,958 --> 01:31:37,875
- The couch is good.
- Is it?

1963
01:31:40,000 --> 01:31:41,292
I got it.

1964
01:31:41,542 --> 01:31:46,874
<i>Was blind, but now...</i>

1965
01:31:48,125 --> 01:31:49,250
- Yeah.
- You know?

1966
01:31:50,333 --> 01:31:54,292
I know it's been
a difficult time for... some.

1967
01:31:54,875 --> 01:31:56,250
A lot of change.

1968
01:31:57,125 --> 01:31:58,500
But that's okay.

1969
01:31:59,125 --> 01:32:02,292
Um... You know, I read a line
in a book once.

1970
01:32:03,083 --> 01:32:04,707
I don't remember
exactly how it goes,

1971
01:32:04,708 --> 01:32:05,791
but it was something like,

1972
01:32:05,792 --> 01:32:09,542
"People change.
But love always stays the same."

1973
01:32:11,208 --> 01:32:12,208
Anybody?

1974
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:16,666
Mmm. Yeah, I don't see how
that relates exactly, but okay.

1975
01:32:16,667 --> 01:32:18,916
- No. I loved it. I loved it.
- It's really nice.

1976
01:32:18,917 --> 01:32:19,999
- I think it's nice.
- Actually,

1977
01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:21,417
since you brought it up.

1978
01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:24,582
I have my own toast
that I would like to make

1979
01:32:24,583 --> 01:32:26,041
to a very special
friend of mine.

1980
01:32:26,042 --> 01:32:26,957
Oh, thank you.

1981
01:32:26,958 --> 01:32:28,374
- Her name is Tess.
- Oh.

1982
01:32:28,375 --> 01:32:29,832
Um, as you all know,

1983
01:32:29,833 --> 01:32:31,999
she recently returned
to her life's passion.

1984
01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:32,957
Mmm. Okay.

1985
01:32:32,958 --> 01:32:34,707
And even though
she's only been at it

1986
01:32:34,708 --> 01:32:36,374
for a short period of time...

1987
01:32:36,375 --> 01:32:37,624
What, like a few months?

1988
01:32:37,625 --> 01:32:38,625
Yeah, but...

1989
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,999
No, this is amazing.

1990
01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:44,749
She has already been asked
to be the assistant coach

1991
01:32:44,750 --> 01:32:47,291
for the US Women's Team,

1992
01:32:47,292 --> 01:32:49,124
- LA '28!
- What?

1993
01:32:49,125 --> 01:32:51,249
- What? Oh my God!
- No decisions, guys.

1994
01:32:51,250 --> 01:32:52,249
No. It's just...

1995
01:32:52,250 --> 01:32:53,249
- You! Get up here!
- No.

1996
01:32:53,250 --> 01:32:55,541
- Yes, please.
- Come here. Oh, my God.

1997
01:32:55,542 --> 01:32:56,542
That is so...

1998
01:32:59,125 --> 01:33:02,541
Okay. So, it was not supposed to
go down like that.

1999
01:33:02,542 --> 01:33:03,499
Don't worry about it.
It's totally fine.

2000
01:33:03,500 --> 01:33:04,666
I'm really sorry
she announced it.

2001
01:33:04,667 --> 01:33:06,124
She happened to be at the house.

2002
01:33:06,125 --> 01:33:07,291
It's okay. It's great.

2003
01:33:07,292 --> 01:33:08,207
It's great news!

2004
01:33:08,208 --> 01:33:09,124
It's just such a big deal
to tell you.

2005
01:33:09,125 --> 01:33:10,291
- I know.
- But it is a big deal.

2006
01:33:10,292 --> 01:33:12,124
- It's big... a huge deal.
- Right? That they asked me.

2007
01:33:12,125 --> 01:33:13,374
That's so... You deserve it, too.

2008
01:33:13,375 --> 01:33:15,207
But I have no idea
if I want to do it.

2009
01:33:15,208 --> 01:33:16,916
- You should.
- It would be a lot.

2010
01:33:16,917 --> 01:33:19,916
It would be a lot. You know.

2011
01:33:19,917 --> 01:33:21,416
And the boys. And...

2012
01:33:21,417 --> 01:33:23,207
- Actually, you know what?
- I don't know how I feel.

2013
01:33:23,208 --> 01:33:24,416
I don't even know
what it would be like,

2014
01:33:24,417 --> 01:33:26,497
- or what the commitment is.
- Look at, look at this.

2015
01:33:27,708 --> 01:33:29,249
- What?
- Something funny I just...

2016
01:33:29,250 --> 01:33:30,333
Look at that.

2017
01:33:30,958 --> 01:33:32,791
- That's you.
- Wait. Where is this?

2018
01:33:32,792 --> 01:33:34,666
That's...
I found that photo of you

2019
01:33:34,667 --> 01:33:37,541
and I blew it up and I put it
on the wall of my apartment.

2020
01:33:37,542 --> 01:33:38,582
'Cause I wanted the boys to see

2021
01:33:38,583 --> 01:33:40,458
what a fucking legend
their mom is.

2022
01:33:42,042 --> 01:33:45,667
Why didn't you pick a photo of
me with the kids for your wall?

2023
01:33:46,333 --> 01:33:50,249
No, because I got a photo of you
at the height of your power.

2024
01:33:50,250 --> 01:33:52,291
Look at you.
Look how high you are.

2025
01:33:52,292 --> 01:33:54,124
That is sick!
I mean, are you kidding?

2026
01:33:54,125 --> 01:33:57,166
Just be like... Smash! You know?

2027
01:33:57,167 --> 01:33:59,999
Like, that's unbelievable.
It's their favorite thing.

2028
01:34:00,000 --> 01:34:02,875
I love it, too. I think...
That photo is awesome.

2029
01:34:04,417 --> 01:34:05,625
It's not me now.

2030
01:34:09,458 --> 01:34:10,458
Yeah, it is.

2031
01:34:13,042 --> 01:34:14,167
No, it isn't.

2032
01:34:15,375 --> 01:34:16,375
Here.

2033
01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:22,041
Do you have to sleep till like
two fucking thirty every day?

2034
01:34:22,042 --> 01:34:23,416
Why? Did people wake up already?

2035
01:34:23,417 --> 01:34:24,417
Oh, my God.

2036
01:34:25,125 --> 01:34:26,792
What are we looking at? Oh!

2037
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,082
I'm not sure
what's happening right now.

2038
01:34:29,083 --> 01:34:30,167
I'm upset.

2039
01:34:31,083 --> 01:34:32,167
That's what's happening.

2040
01:34:32,667 --> 01:34:33,667
Okay.

2041
01:34:35,250 --> 01:34:37,542
You can upset me,
and I can upset you.

2042
01:34:38,375 --> 01:34:39,375
Right?

2043
01:34:39,958 --> 01:34:41,625
It's what happens
in a relationship.

2044
01:34:42,500 --> 01:34:45,667
I never said that we
couldn't get upset.

2045
01:34:48,125 --> 01:34:50,208
I know you were trying
to do a nice thing.

2046
01:34:54,417 --> 01:34:57,667
It hurt my feelings.
Let's go in.

2047
01:34:59,625 --> 01:35:02,417
Are you... Do you still want me
to come to the attic tonight?

2048
01:35:02,542 --> 01:35:04,750
What?

2049
01:35:06,458 --> 01:35:07,332
What about this?

2050
01:35:07,333 --> 01:35:08,458
That's fine.

2051
01:35:09,250 --> 01:35:10,667
- Space?
- Okay. Jesus.

2052
01:35:13,875 --> 01:35:14,875
I'm starving.

2053
01:35:15,750 --> 01:35:17,832
Well, why don't you use a spoon
like a person?

2054
01:35:17,833 --> 01:35:20,208
Oh. Well, I don't want to dirty
any more dishes.

2055
01:35:20,708 --> 01:35:22,666
Well, we can wash them
in the morning.

2056
01:35:22,667 --> 01:35:24,000
Oh, okay.

2057
01:35:25,583 --> 01:35:27,250
It's so good with my fingers.

2058
01:35:30,292 --> 01:35:32,082
Shouldn't have done
that one thing, you know?

2059
01:35:32,083 --> 01:35:33,833
Jesus Christ.

2060
01:35:55,625 --> 01:35:58,291
House is busy tonight.

2061
01:35:58,292 --> 01:35:59,792
Anybody see you come up?

2062
01:36:00,250 --> 01:36:02,041
No, everybody was
kind of in their own world.

2063
01:36:02,042 --> 01:36:05,457
I was watching this video of
a therapist talking to couples,

2064
01:36:05,458 --> 01:36:08,999
and had them,
as a healthy exercise,

2065
01:36:09,000 --> 01:36:11,250
ask each other what they
don't like about each other.

2066
01:36:13,417 --> 01:36:15,417
That you slept with somebody,
for starters.

2067
01:36:16,083 --> 01:36:17,874
Well, I only did
because I thought you were

2068
01:36:17,875 --> 01:36:18,875
and I was jealous.

2069
01:36:20,167 --> 01:36:22,374
How you never respond
to photos I send you.

2070
01:36:22,375 --> 01:36:23,916
Photos you always ask for.

2071
01:36:23,917 --> 01:36:26,207
I always send a thumbs-up
or a heart emoji or something.

2072
01:36:26,208 --> 01:36:27,832
I'm sitting there,
rushing around,

2073
01:36:27,833 --> 01:36:31,500
trying to get some perfect angle
of a photo for them.

2074
01:36:32,083 --> 01:36:33,957
Just so that... You know,

2075
01:36:33,958 --> 01:36:35,457
I just felt like a psycho.

2076
01:36:35,458 --> 01:36:37,916
Feel like an idiot,
knowing you could care less.

2077
01:36:37,917 --> 01:36:39,708
I love getting those photos.
That's not true.

2078
01:36:41,208 --> 01:36:43,125
How quiet you got at home.

2079
01:36:45,000 --> 01:36:46,416
As if you were
a different person

2080
01:36:46,417 --> 01:36:47,832
than you are
with everybody else.

2081
01:36:47,833 --> 01:36:49,457
That drove me crazy.

2082
01:36:49,458 --> 01:36:52,124
Well... no, first...

2083
01:36:52,125 --> 01:36:53,999
Jeez, you're good at this game.

2084
01:36:54,000 --> 01:36:55,667
First that confused me.

2085
01:36:56,292 --> 01:36:58,708
Then made me sad,
then drove me crazy.

2086
01:37:01,333 --> 01:37:04,000
As if we clearly weren't
interesting enough for you.

2087
01:37:04,833 --> 01:37:06,583
I wasn't.

2088
01:37:08,500 --> 01:37:10,167
It was like
you weren't even there.

2089
01:37:11,875 --> 01:37:13,208
I wasn't there?

2090
01:37:14,000 --> 01:37:16,124
- You checked out.
- Me?

2091
01:37:16,125 --> 01:37:17,707
Just like you would
after a loss.

2092
01:37:17,708 --> 01:37:19,041
Except for
I wouldn't know the cause,

2093
01:37:19,042 --> 01:37:20,792
and so I'm just like, alone.

2094
01:37:22,417 --> 01:37:25,000
Well, good thing
we aren't together.

2095
01:37:28,750 --> 01:37:29,750
Aren't we?

2096
01:37:30,333 --> 01:37:34,000
Well, I don't think us hiding is
us back together.

2097
01:37:34,625 --> 01:37:36,958
Well, what do you care
what anyone thinks, anyway?

2098
01:37:38,625 --> 01:37:40,125
Maybe I'm embarrassed.

2099
01:37:41,042 --> 01:37:42,167
By what?

2100
01:37:44,208 --> 01:37:45,750
- Me.
- Why?

2101
01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:50,583
'Cause I don't know
if you even love me.

2102
01:37:54,542 --> 01:37:57,332
You love some idea of me,
hanging on your wall.

2103
01:37:58,833 --> 01:38:00,916
But not the woman
you're looking at right now,

2104
01:38:00,917 --> 01:38:02,374
- in front of you.
- Don't tell me

2105
01:38:02,375 --> 01:38:03,707
- in this moment.
- How I feel and think.

2106
01:38:03,708 --> 01:38:04,958
That's not...

2107
01:38:06,583 --> 01:38:08,916
I mean, maybe I don't love you.
I don't know.

2108
01:38:08,917 --> 01:38:11,124
Maybe I fucked you
because you fucked that woman,

2109
01:38:11,125 --> 01:38:13,041
or 'cause it felt good
to hear you say

2110
01:38:13,042 --> 01:38:14,416
you missed me
in front of strangers,

2111
01:38:14,417 --> 01:38:16,041
- which is... embarrassing.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

2112
01:38:16,042 --> 01:38:18,249
It was a stupid fucking thing
I did, and I hate myself for it.

2113
01:38:18,250 --> 01:38:22,041
Why? We had no responsibility
to each other.

2114
01:38:22,042 --> 01:38:23,957
Even now,
there's no real commitment.

2115
01:38:23,958 --> 01:38:25,749
- Of course there is.
- To what?

2116
01:38:25,750 --> 01:38:27,582
To making each other happy.

2117
01:38:27,583 --> 01:38:29,374
Because we're doing things
that make us happy

2118
01:38:29,375 --> 01:38:30,749
as individuals now.

2119
01:38:30,750 --> 01:38:32,666
And if we're happy, that's it.

2120
01:38:32,667 --> 01:38:35,249
Then we make
the people we love happy too.

2121
01:38:35,250 --> 01:38:37,417
That's it?
What are you, eight years old?

2122
01:38:38,167 --> 01:38:40,166
A real relationship

2123
01:38:40,167 --> 01:38:43,374
is finding somebody
you can also be unhappy with.

2124
01:38:43,375 --> 01:38:44,875
Somebody who has your back.

2125
01:38:46,167 --> 01:38:48,375
We stopped
having each other's backs.

2126
01:38:48,708 --> 01:38:51,292
I always tried to have
your back. Are you kidding me?

2127
01:38:52,042 --> 01:38:53,416
There just wasn't enough room

2128
01:38:53,417 --> 01:38:54,707
because you had to
have your own back.

2129
01:38:54,708 --> 01:38:56,791
There wasn't any room left
on your back.

2130
01:38:56,792 --> 01:38:59,374
Trust me, I heard.
"Alex, he loves it so much.

2131
01:38:59,375 --> 01:39:00,707
He's always there for you.

2132
01:39:00,708 --> 01:39:02,749
He goes to everything.
He loves it."

2133
01:39:02,750 --> 01:39:05,792
- I did.
- Yeah? And when I retired?

2134
01:39:08,750 --> 01:39:12,166
When I let go of the thing
I loved since I was 11?

2135
01:39:12,167 --> 01:39:13,417
You shut off.

2136
01:39:15,458 --> 01:39:16,332
You said you felt alone?

2137
01:39:16,333 --> 01:39:19,500
Baby, you left me alone
years ago in this relationship.

2138
01:39:24,667 --> 01:39:26,250
Okay, you want to
know the truth?

2139
01:39:26,875 --> 01:39:27,875
Yes.

2140
01:39:28,167 --> 01:39:29,417
I wasn't the downer.

2141
01:39:31,042 --> 01:39:32,042
You were.

2142
01:39:38,458 --> 01:39:41,833
You're right. I was a downer.

2143
01:39:44,542 --> 01:39:47,250
After years of dedicating myself
to a thing,

2144
01:39:48,042 --> 01:39:49,500
I thought I could just stop.

2145
01:39:51,250 --> 01:39:54,750
And have my own children,
and you be the replacement.

2146
01:39:58,625 --> 01:39:59,917
I did.

2147
01:40:02,583 --> 01:40:03,707
Never acknowledging

2148
01:40:03,708 --> 01:40:06,332
that it was the end
of this whole other life,

2149
01:40:06,333 --> 01:40:08,625
or where I was gonna
put all those feelings.

2150
01:40:09,000 --> 01:40:11,416
And then I was doing
six years of in vitro,

2151
01:40:11,417 --> 01:40:13,666
and injecting myself
full of all those chemicals,

2152
01:40:13,667 --> 01:40:15,291
whatever that was doing.

2153
01:40:15,292 --> 01:40:17,875
And by the way,
and I love that challenge.

2154
01:40:19,458 --> 01:40:24,416
But I was having trouble
with you and them

2155
01:40:24,417 --> 01:40:28,208
being the only thing
fulfilling me.

2156
01:40:31,292 --> 01:40:34,083
And you knew I was struggling.

2157
01:40:35,583 --> 01:40:37,917
But that I was too proud
to ever ask for help.

2158
01:40:39,542 --> 01:40:41,083
You hid behind that.

2159
01:40:42,958 --> 01:40:44,791
And I felt relieved.

2160
01:40:44,792 --> 01:40:46,499
That you never asked.

2161
01:40:46,500 --> 01:40:49,292
Because then
I could avoid it too.

2162
01:40:49,750 --> 01:40:50,957
I couldn't ask you that.

2163
01:40:50,958 --> 01:40:52,791
- Of course you could.
- No!

2164
01:40:52,792 --> 01:40:54,292
- Of course you could.
- Baby, baby...

2165
01:40:55,625 --> 01:40:56,916
You left me alone.

2166
01:40:56,917 --> 01:40:58,499
I left you alone?

2167
01:40:58,500 --> 01:41:00,166
You checked out.

2168
01:41:00,167 --> 01:41:01,832
You think
that was fun to be around?

2169
01:41:01,833 --> 01:41:04,499
I don't want to go back to that.
I won't!

2170
01:41:04,500 --> 01:41:06,416
- So what are you saying then?
- What I'm s...

2171
01:41:06,417 --> 01:41:08,124
Fuck! Oh, fucking stupid...

2172
01:41:08,125 --> 01:41:09,124
What the fuck?

2173
01:41:09,125 --> 01:41:10,957
Jesus fucking Christ, Christine!

2174
01:41:10,958 --> 01:41:13,624
Why don't you mind your own
fucking business for once?

2175
01:41:13,625 --> 01:41:14,541
Whoa.

2176
01:41:14,542 --> 01:41:16,208
Maybe take care
of your own shit first.

2177
01:41:16,958 --> 01:41:18,124
What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?

2178
01:41:18,125 --> 01:41:19,708
<i>Comedy,
make some noise right now!</i>

2179
01:41:20,500 --> 01:41:24,041
For my main man, the one
and only, Alex Novak everybody!

2180
01:41:51,750 --> 01:41:53,458
Fucking relationships suck.

2181
01:41:56,125 --> 01:41:58,291
And I don't mean that they...
they're like a downer.

2182
01:41:58,292 --> 01:41:59,916
I mean, they fucking suck.

2183
01:42:01,792 --> 01:42:03,874
I don't think you're fucking
hearing what I'm trying to say.

2184
01:42:03,875 --> 01:42:05,957
I'm telling you
that relationships suck.

2185
01:42:05,958 --> 01:42:08,749
Like, if you are in
a relationship with somebody,

2186
01:42:08,750 --> 01:42:10,166
they are literally
trying to suck

2187
01:42:10,167 --> 01:42:11,583
the fucking life out of you.

2188
01:42:13,458 --> 01:42:15,625
Okay? They're fucking vampires.

2189
01:42:18,958 --> 01:42:21,249
And the moment that
you're happy, fucking look out.

2190
01:42:21,250 --> 01:42:23,124
The moment that
you are fucking happy,

2191
01:42:23,125 --> 01:42:26,749
they see that as pure,
unfiltered fucking blood,

2192
01:42:26,750 --> 01:42:28,999
and they will suck it
right out of your fucking body

2193
01:42:29,000 --> 01:42:31,666
until you are gaunt
and fucking drained.

2194
01:42:31,667 --> 01:42:34,207
And they will take
every fucking morsel of it out.

2195
01:42:34,208 --> 01:42:37,750
Because you know why? Because
happiness is the sun to them.

2196
01:42:38,625 --> 01:42:41,457
Okay? Happiness is like a stake
to the fucking heart.

2197
01:42:41,458 --> 01:42:42,541
They don't want it.

2198
01:42:42,542 --> 01:42:44,917
They don't want you
to be fucking happy.

2199
01:42:46,167 --> 01:42:47,582
And there are only two ways out

2200
01:42:47,583 --> 01:42:51,166
of this fucking
bleak, miserable existence.

2201
01:42:51,167 --> 01:42:54,375
You either become one of them
or you fucking die.

2202
01:42:56,167 --> 01:42:57,417
Well, I don't want it.

2203
01:42:58,708 --> 01:43:02,167
I don't wanna be
a fucking vampire. Okay?

2204
01:43:04,542 --> 01:43:06,708
I don't want it.

2205
01:43:25,083 --> 01:43:26,083
Dad.

2206
01:43:26,958 --> 01:43:27,999
What the fuck
are you doing here?

2207
01:43:28,000 --> 01:43:29,000
Son, uh...

2208
01:43:29,292 --> 01:43:33,041
Well, I just came down
to see what the fuss is.

2209
01:43:33,042 --> 01:43:34,374
Jesus...

2210
01:43:34,375 --> 01:43:37,958
You... really yelled
at those guys.

2211
01:43:40,292 --> 01:43:42,957
Yeah, sorry, I don't really know
what that all was.

2212
01:43:42,958 --> 01:43:48,375
Yeah, well, I wouldn't say
it was funny, but it was, uh...

2213
01:43:49,583 --> 01:43:50,875
a bit dangerous.

2214
01:43:53,083 --> 01:43:53,957
- Dad, look...
- Son.

2215
01:43:53,958 --> 01:43:55,083
- No, Dad, listen...
- Son.

2216
01:43:56,542 --> 01:43:59,167
You're a decent man, Alex.

2217
01:44:00,167 --> 01:44:01,999
And you can give yourself

2218
01:44:02,000 --> 01:44:04,500
the grace to
work through all of this.

2219
01:44:05,292 --> 01:44:06,583
You know?

2220
01:44:07,458 --> 01:44:08,832
Mom.

2221
01:44:08,833 --> 01:44:11,707
Yeah, well, we rub off on
each other. That's a good thing.

2222
01:44:11,708 --> 01:44:15,708
Your mother and I,
we're lucky like that.

2223
01:44:16,583 --> 01:44:17,750
It's rare.

2224
01:44:19,500 --> 01:44:23,292
It's really rare.
You understand?

2225
01:44:30,333 --> 01:44:31,333
Okay.

2226
01:44:32,375 --> 01:44:33,833
It's okay. Come on.

2227
01:44:35,042 --> 01:44:36,042
Come on.

2228
01:44:37,250 --> 01:44:38,250
Hey.

2229
01:44:39,125 --> 01:44:40,417
There you go.

2230
01:44:43,958 --> 01:44:45,666
Now.

2231
01:44:45,667 --> 01:44:47,499
I'm sorry... I'm sorry about...

2232
01:44:47,500 --> 01:44:49,874
You... You don't have to
be sorry about anything.

2233
01:44:49,875 --> 01:44:53,291
Life happens to us, you know?

2234
01:44:53,292 --> 01:44:55,874
What we have to do is recognize

2235
01:44:55,875 --> 01:44:58,292
where we stand
and what's good about it.

2236
01:45:00,542 --> 01:45:01,583
It's gonna be okay.

2237
01:45:02,417 --> 01:45:04,417
Yeah? You work it through.

2238
01:45:07,167 --> 01:45:09,292
As for this, next time...

2239
01:45:11,042 --> 01:45:12,375
a few more jokes.

2240
01:45:13,208 --> 01:45:14,708
- See you.
- See ya.

2241
01:45:15,708 --> 01:45:17,291
I'll add <i>a</i> joke.

2242
01:46:01,833 --> 01:46:04,791
Hey, man. I got bagels.

2243
01:46:04,792 --> 01:46:06,292
Oh, for fuck's sake.

2244
01:46:07,583 --> 01:46:10,167
So, they didn't say it,
like, outright,

2245
01:46:11,125 --> 01:46:13,374
but my agent did tell me
that production

2246
01:46:13,375 --> 01:46:15,625
called them,
like, several times.

2247
01:46:16,000 --> 01:46:17,416
Maybe they want their hat back.

2248
01:46:17,417 --> 01:46:19,625
Will you just let me dream, bro?

2249
01:46:20,250 --> 01:46:21,500
No, you're probably right.

2250
01:46:22,250 --> 01:46:23,957
Look, man, I think
it's great that you got the job

2251
01:46:23,958 --> 01:46:26,749
and that you had
that experience, but...

2252
01:46:26,750 --> 01:46:28,166
I don't know,
now that you're back in town,

2253
01:46:28,167 --> 01:46:31,041
don't you think maybe
it's time that you face reality?

2254
01:46:31,042 --> 01:46:34,249
I have no delusions. Okay?

2255
01:46:34,250 --> 01:46:38,124
I know they killed my character,
but just think about it.

2256
01:46:38,125 --> 01:46:41,082
What if they bring him back
as a ghost seeking revenge?

2257
01:46:41,083 --> 01:46:42,541
I sketched out
this little storyline

2258
01:46:42,542 --> 01:46:43,832
I'm gonna send to production.

2259
01:46:43,833 --> 01:46:45,875
But I'm definitely gonna
give the hat back first.

2260
01:46:46,792 --> 01:46:49,083
But you never know.
I'm a good writer.

2261
01:46:50,292 --> 01:46:51,612
I was talking about
your marriage.

2262
01:46:52,208 --> 01:46:54,417
Oh.
What about it?

2263
01:46:55,333 --> 01:46:57,707
Well, I mean, just, everything,
you know, with Christine

2264
01:46:57,708 --> 01:47:00,417
and you leaving her
and all that.

2265
01:47:00,833 --> 01:47:02,791
Oh, no, no, no. No, we're good.

2266
01:47:03,833 --> 01:47:05,332
- Really?
- Yeah.

2267
01:47:05,333 --> 01:47:07,416
Yeah, yeah. We talked it out.

2268
01:47:07,417 --> 01:47:08,332
Yeah.

2269
01:47:08,333 --> 01:47:10,082
She said her piece...

2270
01:47:10,083 --> 01:47:13,041
which was hard to hear,
was good.

2271
01:47:13,042 --> 01:47:16,250
And then I said mine
and then, yeah. Yeah.

2272
01:47:17,292 --> 01:47:18,749
Oh. Check this out.

2273
01:47:18,750 --> 01:47:21,582
She wants me to go back
more than I do.

2274
01:47:21,583 --> 01:47:23,374
Yeah, she keeps saying,
"You should just write them.

2275
01:47:23,375 --> 01:47:25,375
They need to bring back
your character."

2276
01:47:26,667 --> 01:47:28,708
- Is that crazy?
- Mmm.

2277
01:47:30,417 --> 01:47:31,417
Yeah.

2278
01:47:34,125 --> 01:47:35,667
Hey, man, is there, um...

2279
01:47:38,375 --> 01:47:40,333
Is there a chance that she's...

2280
01:47:41,625 --> 01:47:43,105
I don't know,
that she wants you to...

2281
01:47:44,792 --> 01:47:46,952
I don't know, she wants
to get some time away from you?

2282
01:47:48,917 --> 01:47:49,917
Why?

2283
01:47:50,083 --> 01:47:51,541
You'll be out of town or...

2284
01:47:51,542 --> 01:47:53,250
She came with me to Texas.

2285
01:47:53,958 --> 01:47:54,874
- Really?
- Yeah.

2286
01:47:54,875 --> 01:47:55,916
She did?

2287
01:47:55,917 --> 01:47:57,667
Yeah. She was there
all nine days.

2288
01:47:59,625 --> 01:48:01,250
It was her idea
to steal the hat.

2289
01:48:02,250 --> 01:48:04,332
Yeah, she's like,
thinks I look...

2290
01:48:04,333 --> 01:48:06,333
you know, really handsome.

2291
01:48:07,375 --> 01:48:08,708
Wow, I'm confused.

2292
01:48:10,083 --> 01:48:11,582
Yeah, well, confused is good.

2293
01:48:11,583 --> 01:48:13,333
I'm confused most of the time.

2294
01:48:14,042 --> 01:48:15,625
I just like being confused
with her.

2295
01:48:17,375 --> 01:48:19,082
Who would have thought Jalen...

2296
01:48:19,083 --> 01:48:20,999
I love that guy...

2297
01:48:21,000 --> 01:48:23,375
but going away would
be actually good for us?

2298
01:48:25,375 --> 01:48:27,208
- Hmm.
- What is that behind me?

2299
01:48:29,125 --> 01:48:31,375
- That's a picture of Tess.
- Oh.

2300
01:48:32,417 --> 01:48:33,833
I can't see her face.

2301
01:48:34,583 --> 01:48:36,041
Well, yeah,
the photo's taken from behind.

2302
01:48:36,042 --> 01:48:38,000
Yeah, well, you should just
turn her around.

2303
01:48:38,625 --> 01:48:40,745
Yeah, I don't think...
I don't think they can do that.

2304
01:48:42,792 --> 01:48:43,958
Someday.

2305
01:49:10,542 --> 01:49:12,916
She's competed
every single night

2306
01:49:12,917 --> 01:49:14,332
of her college career.

2307
01:49:14,333 --> 01:49:16,207
She doesn't have as much
international experience,

2308
01:49:16,208 --> 01:49:18,624
but to be able to grind
through the Big Ten season

2309
01:49:18,625 --> 01:49:21,374
and make a big run
in the tournament...

2310
01:49:21,375 --> 01:49:23,082
- She's got what it takes.
- Played for John Cook too.

2311
01:49:23,083 --> 01:49:24,416
- John Cook.
- Exactly.

2312
01:49:24,417 --> 01:49:26,166
Is that Rachel,

2313
01:49:26,167 --> 01:49:28,166
who Arch
was saying came out of UVA?

2314
01:49:36,167 --> 01:49:37,167
- Hi.
- Hey.

2315
01:49:38,042 --> 01:49:39,749
- Uh, is everything...
- Everything's fine, yeah.

2316
01:49:39,750 --> 01:49:41,166
I just dropped the boys off
at school,

2317
01:49:41,167 --> 01:49:42,291
but I wanted to come by here

2318
01:49:42,292 --> 01:49:43,749
before I drove back
to the city...

2319
01:49:43,750 --> 01:49:44,957
I'm just in the middle of it

2320
01:49:44,958 --> 01:49:46,749
- with the coaching staff, so I...
- Okay. Okay, I just want...

2321
01:49:46,750 --> 01:49:48,510
I just wanna show you something
really quick.

2322
01:49:50,292 --> 01:49:52,874
- Look at that.
- What is that, Alex?

2323
01:49:52,875 --> 01:49:55,166
It's you. It's you.
First time you saw the minivan.

2324
01:49:55,167 --> 01:49:56,707
Look how unhappy you are.

2325
01:49:56,708 --> 01:49:58,167
It's my favorite thing.

2326
01:50:00,083 --> 01:50:01,083
I see that.

2327
01:50:02,667 --> 01:50:04,875
I realize that I was the one
who was unhappy.

2328
01:50:07,625 --> 01:50:10,083
I was unhappy in our marriage.

2329
01:50:10,583 --> 01:50:13,458
I wasn't unhappy
with our marriage.

2330
01:50:21,875 --> 01:50:23,500
I wanna be unhappy with you.

2331
01:50:27,083 --> 01:50:28,500
Let's be unhappy together.

2332
01:50:48,042 --> 01:50:50,291
Fuck!

2333
01:50:50,292 --> 01:50:51,583
I'll think about it.

2334
01:51:24,750 --> 01:51:28,291
<i>Pressure Pushing down on me.</i>

2335
01:51:28,292 --> 01:51:31,375
<i>Pressing down on you
No man ask for.</i>

2336
01:51:32,500 --> 01:51:34,416
And in that moment,
I stood up and I said,

2337
01:51:34,417 --> 01:51:37,875
"Hey. Your mom
is not going anywhere...

2338
01:51:38,750 --> 01:51:40,749
till she helps me
open this jar."

2339
01:51:48,792 --> 01:51:53,082
<i>That's the terror of knowing
What this world is about.</i>

2340
01:51:53,083 --> 01:51:55,874
<i>Watching some good friends
Screaming.</i>

2341
01:51:55,875 --> 01:51:57,416
<i>"Let me out!"</i>

2342
01:51:57,417 --> 01:52:00,917
<i>Pray tomorrow takes us higher.</i>

2343
01:52:01,667 --> 01:52:05,249
<i>Pressure on people
People on streets.</i>

2344
01:52:05,250 --> 01:52:08,207
Mmm.

2345
01:52:11,333 --> 01:52:12,583
<i>Okay.</i>

2346
01:52:14,542 --> 01:52:16,499
<i>Chippin' around.</i>

2347
01:52:16,500 --> 01:52:18,291
<i>Kick my brains 'Round the floor.</i>

2348
01:52:18,292 --> 01:52:22,249
<i>These are the days
It never rains, it just pours.</i>

2349
01:52:22,250 --> 01:52:24,082
<i>People on streets.</i>

2350
01:52:26,500 --> 01:52:27,833
<i>People on streets.</i>

2351
01:52:29,917 --> 01:52:34,291
<i>It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about.</i>

2352
01:52:34,292 --> 01:52:36,832
<i>Watching some good friends
Screaming.</i>

2353
01:52:36,833 --> 01:52:38,374
<i>"Let me out!"</i>

2354
01:52:38,375 --> 01:52:40,291
<i>Pray tomorrow.</i>

2355
01:52:40,292 --> 01:52:42,499
<i>Takes us Higher, higher, high.</i>

2356
01:52:42,500 --> 01:52:46,333
<i>Pressure on people
People on streets.</i>

2357
01:52:48,750 --> 01:52:52,167
<i>Turned away from it all
Like a blind man.</i>

2358
01:52:53,208 --> 01:52:56,000
<i>Sat on a fence But it don't work.</i>

2359
01:52:56,875 --> 01:53:00,457
<i>Keep coming up with love
But it's so slashed and torn.</i>

2360
01:53:00,458 --> 01:53:05,875
<i>Why, why, why.</i>

2361
01:53:11,500 --> 01:53:15,332
<i>Love, love, love
Love, love, love, love.</i>

2362
01:53:15,333 --> 01:53:19,166
<i>Insanity laughs under pressure
We're cracking.</i>

2363
01:53:19,167 --> 01:53:23,041
<i>Can't we give ourselves
One more chance?</i>

2364
01:53:23,042 --> 01:53:27,041
<i>Why can't we give love
That one more chance?</i>

2365
01:53:27,042 --> 01:53:30,874
<i>Why can't we give love Give love.</i>

2366
01:53:30,875 --> 01:53:34,874
<i>Give love, give love,
Give love, give love...</i>

2367
01:53:36,458 --> 01:53:41,291
<i>'Cause love's
Such an old-fashioned word.</i>

2368
01:53:41,292 --> 01:53:45,832
<i>And love dares you To care for.</i>

2369
01:53:45,833 --> 01:53:51,499
<i>The people on
The edge of the night.</i>

2370
01:53:51,500 --> 01:53:56,332
<i>And love dares you to change
Our way of.</i>

2371
01:53:56,333 --> 01:54:00,916
<i>Caring about ourselves.</i>

2372
01:54:00,917 --> 01:54:08,917
<i>This is our last dance.</i>

2373
01:54:09,000 --> 01:54:10,500
<i>This is ourselves.</i>

2374
01:54:13,625 --> 01:54:15,083
<i>Under pressure.</i>

2375
01:54:17,375 --> 01:54:18,958
<i>Under pressure.</i>

2376
01:54:22,000 --> 01:54:23,375
<i>Pressure</i>